“Most certainly I am not.  They all scold me, and repeat with manifest horror the terrible things I say, being unconscious that they are evil.  Why should I suspect thoughts that come to me naturally?  I want to know, to understand.  I grope about in the dark.  It seems to me sometimes that this whole world is a mystery.  I go to Mr. Wynkoop with my questions, and they only seem to shock him.  Why should they?  God must have put all these doubts and wonderings into my mind, and there must be an answer for them somewhere.  Mr. Wynkoop is a good man, I truly respect him.  I want to please him, and I admire his intellectual attainments; but how can he accept so much on faith, and be content?  Do you really suppose he is content?  Don’t you think he ever questions as I do? or has he actually succeeded in smothering every doubt?  He cannot answer what I ask him; he cannot make things clear.  He just pulls up a few, cheap, homely weeds,—­useless common things,—­when I beg for flowers; he hands them to me, and bids me seek greater faith through prayer.  I know I am a perfect heathen,—­Miss Spencer says I am,—­but do you think it is so awful for me to want to know these things?”

He permitted his hand to drop upon hers, and she made no motion of displeasure.

“You merely express clearly what thousands feel without the moral courage to utter it.  The saddest part of it all is, the deeper we delve the less we are satisfied in our intellectual natures.  We merely succeed in learning that we are the veriest pygmies.  Men like Mr. Wynkoop are simply driven back upon faith as a last resort, absolutely baffled by an inpenetrable wall, against which they batter mentally in vain.  They have striven with mystery, only to meet with ignominious defeat.  Faith alone remains, and I dare not deny that such faith is above all knowledge.  The pity of it is, there are some minds to whom this refuge is impossible.  They are forever doomed to be hungry and remain unfed; thirsty, yet unable to quench their thirst.”

“Are you a church member?”

“Yes.”

“Do you believe those things you do not understand?”

He drew a deep breath, scarcely knowing at that moment how best to answer, yet sincerely anxious to lead this girl toward the light.

“The majority of men do not talk much about such matters.  They hold them sacred.  Yet I will speak frankly with you.  I could not state in words my faith so that it would be clearly apprehended by the mind of another.  I am in the church because I believe its efforts are toward righteousness, because I believe the teachings of Christ are perfect.  His life the highest possible type of living, and because through Him we receive all the information regarding a future existence which we possess.  That my mind rests satisfied I do not say; I simply accept what is given, preferring a little light to total darkness.”

“But here they refuse to accept any one like that.  They say I am not yet in a fit state of mind.”