Picture an aged man, whose grey stubble fringes a weather-beaten and furrowed face with a grizzled moustache.  He is smoking a grimy tchibouque in a contemplative fashion, as he stands on the outskirts of the chattering throng.  To him approaches a second stalwart, lean man about the same age and appearance.  He is also smoking a long tchibouque; it is a custom which the elder inhabitants have adopted from the Turks.

“May God protect thee,” says the new-comer gravely, as though he had never given vent to such a momentous utterance before.

“May God give thee good fortune,” answers the other, with equal solemnity; and removing their pipes, they clasp hands and fervently kiss each other.  Then the smoking is resumed, and between the puffs the following conversation ensues.

“How art thou?” says the new-comer, gazing with affection at his old comrade.

“Well, thank God,” replies the other.

“Thank God.”

“And how art thou?”

“Well, thank God.”

“Thank God.”

Now it is the new-comer’s turn for the Montenegrin catechism.

The questions already asked and answered are only the prelude, so to speak, before they settle down to serious business.  “Kako ste?” ("How art thou?”) is simply as meaningless as “How do you do”; in fact, a mere matter of form.

“Art thou well?” says the questioner, referring to the other’s state of health, who replies—­

“I am well, by God, thank God.”

“Thank God,” says the questioner, breathing more freely, and continuing.

“How is thy wife?” “How are thy children?” “Thy grandchildren?” “Thy brother?” “Thy sister?” To all of which a deep-toned “Well, thank God,” is given.

Having satisfied himself that the whole family is in reasonable health, and quite certain that he has omitted no important relation, the catechiser proceeds to inquire as to the other’s worldly possessions.

“How are thy crops?”

“God will give me a good harvest.”

“How are thy horses?” “Thy sheep?” “Thy goats?” “Thy cows?” “Thy pigs?” “Thy bees?”

It must be clearly understood, to appreciate the humour of the scene, that the formula has been shortened to avoid vain repetition.  Every question is asked in full, and answered with a pious “Dobro, hfala Bogu” ("Well, thank God").  Not a word is omitted.  The concluding question is put, after a few moments’ thought that really no item has been left out, and this covers any lapse of memory.

“And, in short, How art thou?”

“Dobro, hfala Bogu” ("Well, thank God").

“Hfala Bogu” ("Thank God").

Now it is the other’s turn, and precisely the same questions are asked, varied perhaps with an inquiry as to the state of health of the district “standard bearer” or “mayor.”  Then a few minutes’ general conversation are indulged in as to the direct cause of the other’s visit to Cetinje, and each satisfied that he has gained every particle of information, they clasp hands, kiss, and part with a measured “S’Bogom,” signifying that they commend each other to the Almighty’s keeping.