Good manners are only acquired by education and observation, followed up by habitual practice at home and in society, and good manners reveal to us the lady and the gentleman.  He who does not possess them, though he bear the highest title of nobility, cannot expect to be called a gentleman; nor can a woman, without good manners, aspire to be considered a lady by ladies.  Manners and morals are indissolubly allied, and no society can be good where they are bad.  It is the duty of American women to exercise their influence to form so high a standard of morals and manners that the tendency of society will be continually upwards, seeking to make it the best society of any nation.

As culture is the first requirement of good society, so self-improvement should be the aim of each and all of its members.  Manners will improve with the cultivation of the mind, until the pleasure and harmony of social intercourse are no longer marred by the introduction of discordant elements, and they only will be excluded from the best society whose lack of education and whose rude manners will totally unfit them for its enjoyments and appreciation.  Good manners are even more essential to harmony in society than a good education, and may be considered as valuable an acquisition as knowledge in any form.

The principles of the Golden Rule, “whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them,” is the basis of all true politeness—­principles which teach us to forget ourselves, to be kind to our neighbors, and to be civil even to our enemies.  The appearance of so being and doing is what society demands as good manners, and the man or woman trained to this mode of life is regarded as well-bred.  The people, thus trained, are easy to get along with, for they are as quick to make an apology when they have been at fault, as they are to accept one when it is made.  “The noble-hearted only understand the noble-hearted.”

In a society where the majority are rude from the thoughtfulness of ignorance, or remiss from the insolence of bad breeding, the iron rule, “Do unto others, as they do unto you,” is more often put into practice than the golden one.  The savages know nothing of the virtues of forgiveness, and regard those who are not revengeful as wanting in spirit; so the ill-bred do not understand undeserved civilities extended to promote the general interests of society, and to carry out the injunction of the Scriptures to strive after the things that make for peace.

Society is divided into sets, according to their breeding.  One set may be said to have no breeding at all, another to have a little, another more, and another enough; and between the first and last of these, there are more shades than in the rainbow.  Good manners are the same in essence everywhere—­at courts, in fashionable society, in literary circles, in domestic life—­they never change, but social observances, customs and points of etiquette, vary with the age and with the people.