[Enter, hurriedly, MR. C. T. H. HELMSLEY.] Mr. Alexander, a moment with you!  A most important telegram has just arrived.

FAUST (reading).  ’Handed in at Greba Castle, 10.15.  Reply paid.  Do not close with Stephen Phillips until you have seen my play of Gretchen, same subject, five acts and twelve tableaux.—­HALL CAINE.’  Where is Mr. Stephen Phillips? [STEPHEN PHILLIPS advances.] My dear Phillips, I think we will put up Harold Hodge instead.  ’The Last of the Anglo-Saxon Editors,’ by the last Anglo-Saxon poet.

CURTAIN.

(1906.)

To W. BARCLAY SQUIRE, ESQ.

SHAVIANS FROM SUPERMAN.

DONNA ANA has vanished to sup her man at the Savoy; the DEVIL and the STATUE are descending through trap, when a voice is heard crying, ’Stop, stop’; the mechanism is arrested and there appears in the empyrean MR. CHARLES HAZELWOOD SHANNON, the artist, with halo.

THE DEVIL (while Shannon regains his breath).  Really, Mr. Shannon, this is a great pleasure and quite unexpected.  I am truly honoured.  No quarrel I hope with the International?  Pennell quite well?  How is the Whistler memorial getting on?

SHANNON.  So-so.  To be quite frank I had no time to prepare for Heaven, and earth has become intolerable for me. (Seeing the Statue.) Is that a Rodin you have there?

THE DEVIL.  Oh!  I forgot, let me introduce you.  Commander!  Mr. C. H. Shannon, a most distinguished painter, the English Velasquez, the Irish Titian, the Scotch Giorgione, all in one.  Mr. Shannon, his Excellency the Commander.

SHANNON.  Delighted, I am sure.  The real reason for my coming here is that I could stand Ricketts no longer.  Ricketts the artist I adore.  Ricketts the causeur is delightful.  Ricketts the enemy, entrancing.  Ricketts the friend, one of the best.  But Ricketts, when designing dresses for the Court, Trench, and other productions, is not very amiable.

THE STATUE (sighing).  Ah! yes, I know Ricketts.

THE DEVIL (sighing).  We all know Ricketts.  Never mind, he shall not come here.  I shall give special orders to Charon.  Come on to the trap and we can start for the palace.

SHANNON.  Ah! yes.  I heard you were moving to the Savoy.  Think it will be a success?

[They descend and no reply is heard.  Whisk!  Mr. Frank Richardson on this occasion does not appear; void and emptiness; the fireproof curtain may be lowered here in accordance with the County Council regulations; moving portraits of deceased, and living dramatic critics can be thrown without risk of ignition on the curtain by magic lantern. The point of this travesty will be entirely lost to those who have not read ’Man and Superman.’  It is the first masterpiece in the English literature of the twentieth century.