***

According to The Evening News a bishop was seen the other day passing the House of Commons smoking a briar pipe.  We can only suppose that he did not recognise the House of Commons.

***

“We can find work for everybody and everything,” says a Chicago journal.  But what about corkscrews?

***

How strong is the force of habit was illustrated at Liverpool Docks the other day when two Americans, on reaching our shores, immediately fainted, and only recovered when it was explained that spirits were not sold here solely for medical purposes.

***

“Watches are often affected by electrical storms such as we have experienced of late,” states a science journal.  Only yesterday we heard of a plumber and his mate who arrived at a job simultaneously.

***

We sympathise with the unfortunate housewife who cannot obtain a servant because her reference is considered unsatisfactory.  It appears she was only six weeks with her last maid.

***

A pedestrian knocked down by a taxi in Oxford Street last Tuesday managed to regain his feet only to be again bowled over by a motor-bus.  Luckily, however, noticing a third vehicle standing by to complete the job, the unfortunate fellow had the presence of mind to remain on the ground.

***

According to a local paper cat-skins are worth about 51/2_d._ each.  Of course it must be plainly understood that the accuracy of this estimate is not admitted by the cats themselves.

***

“Too much room is taken up by motor-vehicles when turning corners,” declares a weekly journal.  This is a most unfair charge against those self-respecting motorists who negotiate all corners on the two inside wheels only.

***

An American named J. Thomas Looney has written a book to prove that Shakspeare was really the Earl of Oxford.  We cannot help thinking that Shakspeare, who went out of his way to prove that Ophelia was one of the original Looneys, has brought this on himself.

***

Fashionable Parisians, says a correspondent, have decided that the correct thing this year is to be invited to Scotland for July.  It may be correct, but it won’t be an easy matter if we know our Scotland.

***

American women-bathers with an inclination to embonpoint, it is stated, have taken to painting dimples on their knees.  The report that a fashionable New Yorker who does not care for the water has created the necessary illusion by having a lobster painted on her toe is probably premature.

***

A Bridgewater, Somerset, man of eighty (or octogeranium) has cancelled his wedding on the morning of the ceremony.  A few more exhibitions of that kind and he will end up by being a bachelor.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  First Indian Chief (of travelling show).  “Brother Bellowing-Papoose, which is the way back to the circus?”