It takes all sorts to make the world an’ the same to make a crew,
  It takes more kinds o’ people than there’s creeters in the Zoo;
  You meet ’em all ashore (says Bill) an’ you find ’em all at sea—­
  But do me proud if most o’ the crowd ain’t ornery chaps like me! 
      C.F.S.

* * * * *

      “——­UNITED FREE CHURCH.

      Evening—­Monthly Sermon for Young Men and Women.

      ‘Love, Courtship, and Marriage.’

      Anthem—­’And it shall come to pass.’”

      Scotch Paper.

The organist seems to be a sympathetic soul.

* * * * *

“The fees for Burial will in the future be doubled, in order to meet the increased cost of present-day living.”—­Parish Magazine.

At this rate we shall soon be unable to afford either to live or to die, and must try a state of suspended animation.

* * * * *

“As Lady ——­ was stepping aboard she dropped a waterproof satchel containing a pair of the Queen’s shoes, and Their Majesties laughed heartily at her Ladyship’s discomfiture.  One of the sailors adroitly recovered the satchel with the aid of a boot-hook.” Scotch Paper.

The handy-man!  Prepared for all eventualities.

* * * * *

THE HOUSE THAT JACK WANTS BUILT.

[Illustration:  This is the house that Jack wants built.]

[Illustration:  This is the landowner who (if the talk of a railway being made over this bit of land doesn’t come to anything, and the corporation cannot, after all, be induced to buy it as a recreation-ground, and no one makes a better offer) is willing to sell the ground to carry the house that Jack wants built.]

[Illustration:  This is the architect and surveyor who (as soon as he has finished his designs for the new Town Hall, the proposed County Hospital, the Cathedral Extension, the Borough power station and the drinking-fountain, and provided that no more important commission turns up) is going to design the house to go on the ground of the landowner who ...]

[Illustration:  This is the local authority who (if he can obtain details of the several requirements of the County Council, Parish Council, Central Housing Authority, Ministry Of Health, Board Of Agriculture, Ministry of Transport, Congested Districts Board, and any other departments interested, either now in existence or contemplated for the future) is going to inspect, revise, amend, and positively finally approve the designs of the architect and surveyor who ...]

[Illustration:  This is the building contractor who (provided that pressure of work allows him, and that he can get the materials, which is doubtful, and the men, which is hardly probable, and the price, which is practically out of the question) is going to carry out the designs, as finally approved by the local authority who ...]