The gymnastic is not a mountebank; he palms off no legerdemain upon the public.  He will stretch a line across the room, several feet from the floor, over which he will leap ( ) with surprising dexterity.  He will stand ( ) on his head, balance, ( ) on one foot, and swing ( ) from side to side of the room; lay ( ) crosswise, and sideways; spring ( ) upon his feet; bound ( ) upon the floor; dance ( ) and keel ( ) over with out touching his hands.  He will sing ( ), play ( ), and mimic ( ); look ( ) like a king, and act ( ) like a fool.  He will laugh ( ) and cry ( ), as if real; roar ( ) like a lion, and chirp ( ) like a bird.  To conclude ( ):  He will do all this to an audience of neuter grammarians, without either “action or passion,” all the while having a “state of being,” motionless, in the center of the room!!

What a lie! say you. A lie? I hope you do not accuse me of lying.  If there is any thing false in this matter it all lies in the quotation, at the conclusion, from the standard grammar.  If that is false, whose fault is it?  Not mine, certainly.  But what if I should lie ( ), intransitively?  I should tell no falsehoods.

But enough of this.  If there is any thing irrational or inconsistent, any thing false or ridiculous, in this view of the subject, it should be remembered that it has been long taught, not only in common schools, but in our academies and colleges, as serious, practical truth; as the only means of acquiring a correct knowledge of language, or fitting ourselves for usefulness or respectability in society.  You smile at such trash, and well you may; but you must bear in mind that grammar is not the only thing in which we may turn round and laugh ( ) at past follies.

But I am disposed to consider this matter of more serious consequence than to deserve our laughter.  When I see the rising generation spend months and years of the best and most important part of their lives, which should be devoted to the acquisition of that which is true and useful, studying the dark and false theory of language as usually taught, I am far from feeling any desire to laugh at the folly which imposes such a task upon them.  I remember too distinctly the years that have just gone by.  I have seen too many blighted hopes, too many wearisome hours, too many sad countenances, too many broken resolutions; to say nothing of corporeal chastisements; to think it a small matter that children are erroneously taught the rudiments of language, because sanctioned by age, or great names.  A change, an important change, a radical change, in this department of education, is imperiously demanded, and teachers must obey the call, and effect the change.  There is a spirit abroad in the land which will not bow tamely and without complaint, to the unwarranted dictation of arbitrary, false, and contradictory rules, merely from respect to age.  It demands reason, consistency and plainness;