The good man is enraged.  “You scoundrel,” says he, “do you mean to disobey my orders and insult me?”

“Insult you and disobey you; I have done neither,” replies the honest boy.

“Yes you have, and I will chastise you severely for it.”

“No, master, I have not; I declare, I have not.  I have obeyed you as well as I know how, to the very letter and spirit of your command.”

“Didn’t I tell you to be here in a minute, and have not you remained where you were? and didn’t you say you would be here?”

“Yes, sir; and did not I do just what you told me to?”

“Why, no, you blockhead; I told you to be here.”

“Well, I told you I would be there.”

“You was not here.”

“Nor did you expect I would be, if you have taught me to speak, write, and understand correctly.”

“What do you mean, you saucy boy?”

“I mean to mind my master, and do what he tells me to.”

“Why didn’t you do so then?”

“I did.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“You lie, you insult me, you contradict me, you saucy fellow.  You are not fit to be in school.  I will punish you severely.”  And in a passion he starts for his ferrule, takes the boys hand, and bruises him badly; the honest little fellow all the while pleading innocence of any intended wrong.

In a short time they commence parsing this sentence:  “It is necessary to be very particular in ascertaining the meaning of words before we use them.”  The master puts to be to the same boy.  He says it is an active verb, infinitive mood.

“How is that? an active verb?”

“Yes, sir.”

“No, it is not.  It is a neuter verb.”

“Begging your pardon, master, it is not.  It is active.”

“Have I got to punish you again so soon, you impudent fellow.  You are not fit to be in school.  I will inform your parents of your conduct.”

“What have I done that is wrong?”

“You say to be is an active verb, when I tell you, and the grammar and dictionary tell you, it is neuter!”

“What is a neuter verb, master?”

“It expresses ’neither action nor passion, but being or a state of being.’  Have you forgotten it?”

“No, sir, I thought that was the case.”

“What did you ask me for then?”

“Because I supposed you had found another meaning for it.”

“To what do you allude, you troublesome fellow, you?  I’ll not bear your insults much longer.”

“For what did you punish me so severely just now?”

“For disobeying my orders.”

“What did you order me to do?”

“To be here in a minute.”

“Well, did not I do what you told me?”

“No; you kept your seat, and did not come near me.”