How near we all come together at the table!  In its freedom how clearly are we seen by our children!  Here they know us for what we are and so learn to interpret life.

     I. Reference for Study

     Table Talk. Pamphlet.  American Institute of Child Life,
     Philadelphia, Pa.

     II.  Topics Tor Discussion

     1.  The relation of mental conditions to digestion.

     2.  The relation of table-etiquette to life-habits.

     3.  The table as an opportunity for the grace of courtesy, and the
     relation of this grace to Christian character.

     4.  Training children in listening as well as in talking at table.

     5.  Do you regard table-talk and table-manners as having any
     directly religious values?  Why?

CHAPTER XV

THE BOY AND GIRL IN THE FAMILY

Much that has been said so far has had in mind only the problems of dealing with younger children in the life of the home.  Indeed, almost all literature on education in the family is devoted to the years prior to adolescence.  But older boys and girls need the family and the family needs them.  Many of the more serious problems of youth with which society is attempting to deal are due to the fact that from the age of thirteen on boys have no home life and girls, especially in the cities, are deprived of the home influences.

Sec. 1.  THE GROWING BOY

The life of the family must have a place for the growing boy.  It must make provision for his physical needs; these are food, activity, rest, and shelter.  Youth is a period of physical crisis.  Health is the basis of a sound moral life.  Many of the lad’s apparently strange propensities are due to the physical changes taking place in his body and, often, to the fact that it is assumed that his rugged frame needs no care or attention.[35]

It will take more than tearful pleading to hold him to his home; he can be held only by its ministry to him; he will be there if it is the most attractive place for him.  Some parents who are praying for wandering boys would know why they wandered if they looked calmly at the crowded quarters given to the boy, the comfortless room, the makeshift bed, and the general home organization which long ago assumed that a boy could be left out of the reckoning.

The boy needs a part in the family activities.  He can belong only to that to which he can give himself.  It will be his home in the degree that he has a share in its business.  Begin early to confer with him about your plans; make him feel that he is a partner.  See that he has a chance to do part of the work, not only its “chores,” but also its forms of service.  But even a boy’s attitude to the “chores” will depend on whether they are a responsibility with a degree of dignity or a form of unpaid drudgery.  His room should be his own room, and he should be responsible for its neatness and its adorning.  Services which he does regularly for all should receive regular compensation.  In all services which the home renders for others he should have a share; this is his training for the larger citizenship and society of service.[36]