Punishment by the blow or the immediate sentence will be futile.  The offender must know he has trespassed in a realm beyond your administration and rule; he has done more than commit an offense against you.  Whatever consequences follow—­such as your hesitation to accept his word—­must evidently be a part of the operation of the entire moral law.  Help him to see that lying strikes at the root of all social relations and would make all happy and prosperous living, all friendship, and all business impossible by destroying social confidence.

Facing the crisis, do not demand more than your training gives you a right to expect.  Often, instead of the direct categorical question as to guilt, we must gradually draw out a narrative of the events in question; we must patiently help the child to state the facts and to see the values of exactitudes.  Without preaching or posing we must bring the events into the light of larger areas of time and circles of life, help him to see them related to all his life and to all mankind and to the very fringes of existence, to God and the eternal.  That cannot be done in a moment; it is part of a habit of our own minds or it is not really done at all.  At the moment we can, however, make the deepest impression by insistence on the importance of the actual, the real, the exactly true.

     I. References for Study

     E.L.  Cabot, Every Day Ethics, chaps. xix, xx.  Holt, $1.25.

     W.B.  Forbush, On Truth Telling.  Pamphlet.  American Institute of
     Child Life, Philadelphia, Pa.

     J. Sully, Children’s Ways, pp. 124-33.  Appleton, $1.25.

     II.  Further Reading

     G.S.  Hall, “A Study of Children’s Lies,” Educational Problems, I,
     chap. vi.  Appleton, $2.50.

     E.P.  St. John, A Genetic Study of Veracity.  Pamphlet.

     J. Sully, Studies in Childhood.

     E.H.  Griggs, Moral Education.  Huebsch, $1.60.

     III.  Topics for Discussion

     1.  Are there degrees of lying?

     2.  When is a lie not a lie?

     3.  How can we discriminate among the statements of children?

     4.  How can we help them to recognize the qualities of truth?

     5.  In what ways are parents to blame for forcing children to
     protective lying?

     6.  What of the relation of the thought of God to the demands for
     truth?

     7.  Would you punish a child for lying and, if so, in what way?

CHAPTER XXII

DEALING WITH MORAL CRISES (Concluded)

Sec. 1.  DISHONESTY

Many parents appear to think that the child’s concepts of property rights and of fair dealing are without importance.  Habits of pilfering are permitted to develop and success in cheating wins admiration.  Low standards are accepted and religion is divorced from moral questions.  The family attitude practically assumes that all persons cheat more or less and that it is necessary only to use wisdom to insure freedom from conviction.