To my despair, Mrs. Lawk had rented her house.  Malinda Jane’s confinement (which in my simplicity I imagined was of short duration), it seemed, had been protracted from the day of her marriage.

Society was essential to her happiness; and society Mrs. Lawk was determined she should have.  If through her illness my privileges experienced curtailment, her recovery brought annihilation itself.  Notwithstanding my piteous petition, we suddenly expanded into eminent gentility.

I am dimly conscious that to many of our guests my introduction was to Mrs. Lawk a poignant mortification.  Most of them I never did know.  Several, however, seemed invited for my especial benefit; and this piece of malignity will never cease to harrow.

How could I talk to Miss Rose Buddington Violet, when she let down her back hair and made eyes at the moon? I had no back hair (in fact, none at all to speak of), and scarcely knew there was a moon.

When Mrs. Jesse Hennessee of Tennessee (whose husband is interested in iron) persisted in making a blast-furnace of the kitchen stove, what could I say?

There was Miss Aurelia Wallflower, who believed the world hollow, and dolls stuffed with saw-dust, continually expatiating on the sufferings of early Christians. I have never read Fox’s Book of Martyrs.  With Mrs. Lucretia McSimpkins I had some relief.  She was fond of operatic music, and, it is true, banged our piano out of tune at every visit,—­indeed, her efforts resembled a boiler-maker’s establishment under full headway; but, when she did subside, her perfect and refreshing silence lasted for hours.

Malinda Jane, for whose amusement all this was designed, did not seem more enthusiastic than myself.  Most of her time was spent in a corner, staring confusedly at the assembled company, and contemplating in silent amazement the volubility of her respected parent.

In addition to toning down my exuberance with the softening influence of ladies’ society, Mrs. Lawk decided on a course of restriction.  My allowance of clean linen suddenly diminished one-half and under no circumstances was I to presume to take a fresh pocket-handkerchief more than once in two days.  She changed the dinner-hour, and declared supper (except for Malinda Jane, poor dear!) strictly prohibited.  For a time I mitigated the last grievance by eating oysters; but, an unlucky burst of confidence having divulged the dissipation, a solemn lecture on my duty to my family was its quietus.  Every article of food was put under lock and key, the night-latch was changed, and Mrs. Lawk, in addition to her duties as jailer to Master Moses Alphonso, constituted herself turnkey of the establishment.  The parlor, except when we “received,” was declared forbidden ground:  her dismay at finding my papers there, one evening, was perfectly heart-rending.  There was a sudden inquiry concerning my loose change, and I was furnished with a memorandum-book in which to