She said nothing in reply, and as if by tacit agreement they started back along the path. He did not break the silence, feeling that words might be provocative of a retort that would dispel the growing feeling of mutual confidence.
‘No,’ she said, after a long pause, ’I do not possess the power of detachment. It’s just that I don’t mix well. Have you read Robert Service’s poem about the men that don’t fit in?’
‘Yes.’
’Well, it’s far worse for the women who don’t. A man can go out and try to find some place for himself. We have simply to stay and endure things.’
Half in compassion he watched her from the corner of his eye, but again refrained from saying anything. He felt intuitively that she was trying to break down the barrier of impersonality, but he knew that she must do it in her own way of timid starts and quick withdrawals.
Although her movements were more restricted by her gown than when she wore ordinary walking-garments, her vitality and limitless energy lent a lilt to her step, and even touched the shoulders with a suggestion of restless virility. When she walked there was an imperious tilt to her head; but no matter how carefully planned her toilette, or how cleverly her coiffure might have been arranged by her maid, there was nearly always some stray bit of colour or carelessly chosen flower that combined with her nature in a suggestion of outlawry: the same instinct of rebellion that had dominated her brother Dick during their childhood. Inside the house she would sometimes look, in her quickly changing moods, as if she were some creature of Nature imprisoned within the walls.
Selwyn wondered if heredity, in one of its strange jests, had recalled the spirit of the smuggler ancestor and recast it into the soul of the girl.
They were nearing the house, when, emerging upon a clearing, they came to a rustic bench looking across a short field lined with shrubbery.
‘Let us sit down a minute,’ she said. ’We can hear the dinner-gong from here.’
He took his seat beside her, and dreamily watched the yellow rays of the sun casting their receding tints along the bushes opposite them. It was strangely quiet, and the hum of insects seemed like a soft orchestral accompaniment to the crickets’ song.
‘It is not very sporting of me, Mr. Selwyn,’ she said softly, but with her old staccato mannerism, ’to force my mood on you like this. I did it once before—that dreadful night at the Cafe Rouge—and I know that you must think it is just selfishness on my part that makes me so unhappy. But—you know I never had a real friend—except little Dick—and I felt to-night as if I had lost all my courage about life. That’s why I followed you. I knew you would be patient and kind.’