Anyone who essays to tell a story should have it clearly in mind.  It is fatal for a speaker to hesitate midway in a story, apologize for not knowing it better, avow that it was much more humorous when told to him, and in other ways to announce his shortcomings.  If he cannot tell a story fluently and interestingly, he should first practice it on his own family—­provided they will tolerate it.

Some stories should be committed to memory, especially where the point of humor depends upon exact phraseology.  In such case, it requires some training and experience to disguise the memorized effort.  A story like the following, for obvious reasons, should be thoroughly memorized: 

The longest sermon on record occupied three hours and a half.  But the shortest sermon was that of a preacher who spoke for one minute on the text:  “Man is born unto trouble as the sparks fly upward.”  He said: 

“I shall divide my discourse into three heads:  (1) Man’s ingress into the world; (2) His progress through the world; (3) His egress out of the world.

“Firstly, His ingress into the world is naked and bare.

“Secondly, His progress through the world is trouble and care.

“Thirdly, His egress out of the world is nobody knows where.

“To conclude: 

“If we live well here, we shall live well there.

“I can tell you no more if I preach a whole year.

“The collection will now be taken up.”

Dialect stories are usually rather difficult, and should not as a general thing be attempted by beginners.  As a matter of fact, few persons know how to speak such dialects as Irish, Scotch, German, Cockney, and negro without undue exaggeration.  For most occasions it is well to keep to simple stories couched in plain English.

A story should be told in simple, conversational style.  Concentration upon the story, and a sincere desire to give pleasure to the hearers, will keep the speaker free from self-consciousness.  Needless to say he should not be the first to laugh at his own story.  Sometimes in telling a humorous anecdote to an audience a speaker secures the greatest effect by maintaining an expression of extreme gravity.

No matter how successful one may be in telling stories, he should avoid telling too many.  A man who is accounted brilliant and entertaining may become an insufferable bore by continuing to tell stories when the hearers have become satiated.  Of all speakers, the story-teller should keep his eyes on his entire audience and be alert to detect the slightest signs of weariness.

It is superfluous to say that a story should never be told which in any way might give offence.  The speaker may raise a laugh, but lose a friend.  Hence it is that stories about stammerers, red-headed people, mothers-in-law, and the like, should always be chosen with discrimination.

Generally the most effective story is one in which the point of humor is not disclosed until the very last words, as in the following: