in the house, a religion in the heart, an ornament round the neck, the pupil of my eyes, the blood of my heart, the life of my body, the smile of my happiness, my comfort in dejection, the enlightener of my mind, my spur in work, the light of my eyes, the music of my ears, the breath of my life, the world to my touch!  My present delight, the memory of my past, the hope of my future, my salvation in the next world!  I am a swine—­how should I recognize a pearl?”

Suddenly it occurred to him that he was being borne in a palanquin at his ease, while Surja Mukhi had worn herself out by travelling on foot.  At this thought Nagendra leaped from the palanquin and proceeded on foot, his bearers carrying the empty vehicle in the rear.  When he reached the bazaar where he had arrived in the morning he dismissed the men with their palanquin, resolving to finish his journey on foot.

“I will devote my life to expiating the death of Surja Mukhi.  What expiation?  All the joys of which Surja Mukhi was deprived in leaving her home, I will henceforth give up.  Wealth, servants, friends, none of these will I retain.  I will subject myself to all the sufferings she endured.  From the day I leave Govindpur I will go on foot, live upon rice, sleep beneath a tree or in a hut.  What further expiation?  Whenever I see a helpless woman I will serve her to the utmost of my power.  Of the wealth I reserve to myself I will take only enough to sustain life; the rest I will devote to the service of helpless women.  Even of that portion of my wealth that I give to Satish, I will direct that half of it shall be devoted during my life to the support of destitute women.  Expiation!  Sin may be expiated, sorrow cannot be.  The only expiation for sorrow is death.  In dying, sorrow leaves you:  why do I not seek that expiation?”

Then covering his face with his hands, and remembering his Creator, Nagendra Natha put from him the desire to seek death.

CHAPTER XXXI.

THOUGH ALL ELSE DIES, SUFFERING DIES NOT.

Srish Chandra was sitting alone in his boita khana one evening, when Nagendra entered, carpet-bag in hand, and throwing the bag to a distance, silently took a seat.  Srish Chandra, seeing his distressed and wearied condition, was alarmed, but knew not how to ask an explanation.  He knew that Nagendra had received the Brahmachari’s letter at Benares, and had gone thence to Madhupur.  As he saw that Nagendra would not begin to speak, Srish Chandra took his hand and said—­

“Brother Nagendra, I am distressed to see you thus silent.  Did you not go to Madhupur?”

Nagendra only said, “I went.”

“Did you not meet the Brahmachari?”

“No.”

“Did you find Surja Mukhi?  Where is she?”

Pointing upwards with his finger, Nagendra said, “In heaven.”

Both sat silent for some moments; then Nagendra, looking up, said,
“You do not believe in heaven.  I do.”