A visitor is expected to contribute her share to the pleasure of the occasion by being conversationally agreeable.

If hostess, one must overlook every awkwardness on the part of the guest or servant, and any accident to one’s belongings, but be deeply solicitous and apologetic if an accident happens to a guest,

The guest of honor at a dinner party should take leave first.  Other departures follow speedily.

Remember—­

That an invitation to spend a few days with a friend requires a speedy reply.  It is not allowable to say one will come either earlier or later than the time specified.

A visitor should adapt herself to the ways of the household, be punctual at meals, and make no plans or arrangements without consulting her hostess.

She may not invite a friend of her own to a meal without requesting permission of her hostess.

She should be careful not to infringe upon the privileges and prerogatives of the man of the house.

      Manners and social customs 785

She may accept invitations in which the hostess is not included, but never without due consultation with her hostess.

She should show herself pleased with the efforts made to entertain her and enter into them readily.

She should leave promptly at the expiration of the time set for her visit.  It is almost invariably a mistake to outstay the limit.  If no limit was named in the invitation, she should, within a day or two of her arrival, state the date on which she will leave.

On her return home, her first duty is to write her hostess, announcing her arrival and expressing her pleasure in the visit.  To omit this is a grave discourtesy.  A hostess once said of a woman who failed in this particular:  “We don’t know whether she reached home or not; we never heard from her after she left.”

On departure, maids or servants who have attended one should receive a gratuity, proportioned to the means of the visitor and the style of the establishment.

The hostess should arrange to have the visitor met, either meeting her in person at the station or being first to greet her on her arrival at the house.

Guest rooms should be in perfect order and equipped with every possible convenience for the comfort of visitors.

The hostess arranges whatever pleasures are possible for her guest’s enjoyment, invites her friends to call on her, and probably gives a tea or reception in her honor.

Do not forget that it is ill-bred as well as unkind to discuss the family affairs of one’s hostess with others; to criticise or complain of her arrangements; or gossip about her or her family.

Remember—­

The announcement of an engagement comes from the family of the girl.

The parents and relatives of the bridegroom-elect should call on the girl and her mother, or if living in another city write cordial letters without delay.