Letters of Congratulation and Condolence.—­It is not possible to give forms for letters of this character.  They are meaningless unless they come from the heart, and should be characterized by sincerity.  Nevertheless, they should be written, and promptly, as also letters of acknowledgment of gifts, favors offered, and the “bread-and-butter letter”—­the missive you write to your hostess after a few days’ visit.  Letters of condolence are especially difficult to write.  One so fears to wound instead of comforting.  If one can offer some quotation that has been a personal help in time of sorrow, it is often gratefully appreciated.  But because we “don’t know what to say” we must not omit writing.  The letter is often a greater kindness than the call, which is a tax upon the strength of the mourner.

“The path of sorrow, and that path alone, leads to the land where sorrow is unknown; no traveler ever reached that blessed abode who found not sorrows in his road.”

“Wherever souls are being tried and ripened in whatever commonplace and homely way, there God is hewing out the pillars for His temple.”

Do not think you must write a long letter.  A few well chosen phrases, sincere expressions of feeling, are more grateful to one who grieves.  One may say: 

My dearest Friend:—­
It is with sincerest sorrow I have just heard of your great
bereavement.  I cannot hope to comfort you; God only can do that, but I
want to say how deeply and tenderly I feel for you in your sad
affliction. 
Believe me, most faithfully yours,

[760 Mothers’ remedies]

On the other hand, if we must congratulate, we may write: 

  I have just heard of your engagement to Mr. Blank, and wish to be among

the first of your friends to express my sympathy with you in your happiness.  I have known Mr. Blank for some time, and greatly admire his many good qualities.  I am sure you are very happy with him, and will be more so as you grow together in marriage.  Hoping good fortune and joy may always be your portion in life, and present bliss an earnest of more in store for you, I am,
                              Most sincerely yours,

MANNERS FOR MEN.

“Politeness and good breeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any or all other good qualities or talents.”—­Chesterfield.

Though what we call society is largely vested in women, and women’s customs regulate etiquette, men are by no means exempt from the necessity of knowing and practising what we call good manners.  A man can have no greater charm than that easy, unstudied, unconscious compliance with social forms which marks what we call “a man of the world”—­the man who knows what a good manner requires of him in any situation, and does it quietly and with the grace of habit.