An invitation to a church wedding and not to the reception precludes the necessity of making a gift; indeed, it would be thought rather “pushing” to send one.

[Manners and social customs 743]

What to Give.—­The flat silver is generally given by the bride’s family.  In order to avoid duplicates, it is best for the friends and relatives to consult together in regard to their gifts.  It is not thought good form to offer articles of wearing apparel.  Anything the bride’s immediate family has to offer in this line is best included in the trousseau.  Cut glass, silver, bric-a-brac, napery, books, pictures, fans, rugs, clocks, handsome chairs and tables, are things that may be chosen with propriety.

The question of the correct form of marking silver and napery often comes up.  The rule is to have it engraved with the initials of the bride’s maiden name—­not the single initial of her family name, as is sometimes ignorantly done—­because it is her own private property.  If a wife dies, the silver bearing her name is packed away for the future use of her child, especially if it is a girl.  The second wife would be forbidden by good taste and convention, from using the first wife’s silver.

Acknowledgments.—­Wedding gifts are usually packed where they are bought, and sent direct from the shops.  The card of the donor is enclosed, within a tiny envelope.  It is a rule that the wedding gift must be acknowledged immediately, before the marriage, and by a personal note from the bride.  This is not always possible, but the note should be written at the earliest moment the bride’s engagements will permit.  Such notes are always in the first person, and should be pleasant and cordial.  The writer must be careful to render thanks for the article sent.  Amusing mistakes sometimes happen; thus a lady who had sent a pair of handsome candlesticks was mystified by expressions of gratitude for a silver berry spoon she had not sent.

A cordial form of acknowledging a gift is this: 

12 Canton Avenue. 
My Dear Mrs. Bruce: 
The beautiful cut glass vase sent by you and Mr. Bruce has just
arrived, and I hasten to thank you most sincerely for your kind
thought of me.  It will be a constant reminder of your goodness to Mr.
Waters and myself, and a most lovely ornament to our new home. 
Gratefully yours,
Marion Moore. 
July tenth, nineteen hundred and nine.

The wedding gifts may or may not be displayed, according to the personal preference of the bride.  They are commonly shown to intimate friends.  A room is given up to their display.  Cards are to be removed.

[744 Mothers’ remedies]

Wedding Decorations.—­At a church wedding it is customary, and wisest, to put the matter of decorating the church and house into the hands of a florist, who can furnish the palms and others plants required for the chancel, and carry out any color scheme desired.  He has the paraphernalia requisite to effective disposition of flowers.  Usually large clusters of foliage and flowers, ribbon tied, are attached to the pews reserved for the relatives; often they are arranged the entire length of the aisle, The mantels in the house are banked with flowers, southern smilax is used in profusion, and flowers are arranged upon the tables at which the supper is served.