WEDDING PREPARATIONS.

The Expense of a Wedding.—­It may be said at the outset that no wedding should be more costly than the financial standing of the bride’s family warrants.  If the bridegroom’s family is wealthy, and that of the bride in very moderate circumstances, there will be many to intimate that the bridegroom “put up for it.”  The intimation is a sneer, because the bride’s family should pay all the expenses of a wedding.  If the expense is manifestly beyond the resources of the bride’s father, society lifts its eyebrows.

[734 Mothers’ remedies]

Of course her wedding is the one pageant in which the girl is the central figure—­the admired of all beholders.  It is quite natural for her to wish it to be beautiful, to look lovely herself, and not to go empty-handed to her husband.  But no sensible girl will have a grand wedding if its cost will put her father in debt.  If Mary’s music lessons must be intermitted, or John’s entrance into college postponed because of her trousseau and her wedding, she should assume some of the sacrifice herself and be content with a more modest outfit and a simple ceremony.  Thousands of thoughtless girls leave their families to recover slowly from the financial strain of their wedding.  It is selfish and inconsiderate for a girl to say, “You will never have to do it again for me,” or “I shall be no further expense to you.”  That may be true, but it is no justification.

Nor is it permissible for the bridegroom to furnish any part of the bride’s trousseau.  If she is poor, and is to marry into wealth, good taste and public opinion counsel her to confine her wedding preparations to what she or her family can pay for.  Let her make ready a simple wedding dress and going-away gown, or be married in the latter, and take with her to her new home only her under linen and the treasured keepsakes of her maiden days.  As soon as she is wife, her husband may lavish silks and laces and furs upon her, but not before.

The Bride’s Privileges.—­It is the province of the bride to name the wedding day, subject of course to the insistence of her fiance, who will urge an early date.  She decides whether her wedding shall be formal or informal, at church or at home.  She chooses the clergyman who shall perform the ceremony, the bridegroom notifying him of her desire.  Her family issues—­and pays for—­the wedding invitations and announcement cards.  It is customary to ask the bridegroom to make out a list of those of his relatives and friends to whom he wishes these sent.  The bride names her attendants, decides upon their number and if a bridal procession is contemplated, consults with them as to their gowns and the accessories.  Here she is in duty bound to consider the expense to be incurred by those invited to take part in the affair, unless she is prepared to pay for their gowns herself; this however is seldom done.  If she desires her