She will naturally receive many notes, letters, etc., from her fiance, especially if he is called out of town often, or resides in another city.  The inexperienced, very-much-in-love girl is quite likely to write very ardent and affectionate letters.  Leave that to the man.  If she knows her Thackeray she will remember the rose-colored billet-doux poor Amelia used to write to her George, and which lay unopened day after day, and will model her missives upon the style of Lucy Snowe’s to the Professor—­“a morsel of ice, flavored with ever so slight a zest of sweetness.”  Let her make them bright, chatty, kindly, but not too tender.

[Manners and social customs 731]

Length of Engagement.—­As for the length of an engagement, it is often argued that if one has made a mistake, it is much better to find it out before marriage than after.  A prolonged engagement, however, is not advisable.  It embarrasses a girl to be asked “When is it going to be?” and be obliged to make evasive answers.  Thc old saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” often proves untrue.  The long engagement is a strain, undoubtedly.  A year is quite long enough for the two to demonstrate their fidelity and for all necessary preparations.

Breaking Off.—­If the two develop incompatibility, after being convinced it is irreconcilable the only thing to do is to sever the tie.  This is often heart-breaking if caused by the infidelity of one party, and always humiliating, especially to the girl.  To spare her as much as possible, the man assumes the breaking-off was her act.  He never allows himself to speak of her save in terms of the most perfect respect.  The presents, letters, pictures, are returned, and Cupid retires discomfited.  The girl’s mother writes to her friends and tells them the engagement is broken; no reason is given and no person of tact or knowledge of social forms will inquire why or ever allude to the matter to either of the parties to the engagement or their parents.

“Being engaged” does not relax etiquette.  It does not justify a journey or an excursion together, nor appearance in public places unchaperoned.  Lovers refrain from caresses or evidence of their devotion in the presence of others; in short they should conduct themselves with decorum.

The Wedding Trousseau.—­In case everything goes well when the wedding day is set it is the custom to announce the engagement in the society columns in the newspapers.  The trousseau is nearly ready, the linen chest is filled, the details of the wedding settled.  It is not customary now for the expectant bride to have dozens and dozens of undergarments, to be laid aside, turn yellow and go out of style.  One dozen of each garment is an ample supply for the average bride; even half a dozen new garments of each kind have been known to answer every purpose.  She should have a moderate supply of shoes, corsets, gloves, petticoats, both silk and cambric, and handkerchiefs.