In these days and in this country, young women take their matrimonial affairs into their own hands.  “In the good old times” the young man asked the consent of the girl’s parents before he was sure of her sentiments toward him; he asked permission to woo, and if in his eagerness he forestalled the etiquette of the occasion she modestly referred him to her parents, first indicating her consent would accompany theirs.  In the twentieth century the young people too often settle the matter between themselves, and announce their intentions to wed quite regardless of their parents’ sentiments on the subject.  So many youthful attachments are really youthful follies that the girl who submits her wishes to her parents’ counsel often has reason to consider herself fortunate.  Girls, however, almost invariably regard parental opposition as unreasonable; actually it is often founded on a better understanding of their temperaments and the character of the young men in the case than they imagine—­or in many cases can be made to see.

A manly man will approach the father of the girl he wishes to make his wife, state his prospects, and ask the father’s consent.  If withheld, he will not urge the girl into a hasty marriage, but will wait until the opposition has diminished.  In case this does not happen, the girl has at least had an opportunity to learn her own mind.  Many who have married against their parents’ wishes have lived happily; it must be admitted that others have not.  Delay, at least, gives time for reason to outweigh romance.

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It is especially awkward for the girl if the parents of her fiance do not approve his choice.  In such case she should give ample time for their disapproval to have whatever effect it may on the young man’s feelings towards her.  Some girls refuse to enter a man’s family unless made welcome.

No girl should engage herself to a man she has known but a short time; certainly not without searching inquiry into his reputation in his former place of residence.  No man can reasonably object to such inquiries; indeed, he should welcome them; invite them by furnishing credentials.  No matter how violently in love a girl may be, she should not throw prudence and discretion to the winds.

ANNOUNCEMENT OF ENGAGEMENTS.

An engagement may be announced soon after it is entered upon, or not until several weeks before the marriage.  Usually the engagement is known to the two families some time in advance of the later formal announcement.  This is to save the girl embarrassment in case it is broken off.  Should this happen, the young man takes the blame upon himself, declaring the young lady discarded him.  Only an out-and-out cad would intimate to anyone that he “threw her over.”

The announcement of the engagement comes through the girl’s family; the man waits until it is their pleasure to make it known.  The usual way is for the girl and her mother to write notes to relatives and close friends.  The man, of course, will know when this is done, and may send notes to his relatives and friends, or acquaint them by word of mouth, at the same date.  No special form is employed for such notes; they are always informal and familiar.