A visitor should carefully avoid any comment on the cook’s failures, should such occur; she must not criticise the children’s manners:  nor reprove them; nor should she criticise the chance caller or visitor, who is a friend of her hostess, but not of her acquaintance.  Above all she must avoid comparisons.  If she has been visiting more wealthy people it is not good form to wax eloquent over the elegance of their establishment or their more expensive mode of entertaining.

[Manners and social customs 717]

Concerning Departure.—­If there has been no time named as the length of her visit, she should take an early opportunity to mention now long she will remain “if perfectly convenient.”  And it is almost invariably a mistake to remain beyond the date named.  Better go, and have your departure regretted, than linger to find the later days give a flat ending and you and your hostess alike relieved at parting.

It is customary, on leaving, to give a small fee to the maid who has cared for one’s room, and to the waitress, if one is employed.  Anyone who has rendered personal service is generally remembered.  A dollar is usually given at the close of a week’s visit:  something depends upon the style of the household.  Men generally tip the chauffeur.

After having been received as a guest in a family it is the height of incivility and bad manners to criticise their mode of living, discuss the peculiarities of any member, or make unkind remarks in reference to a slight, real or fancied, or any negligence or oversight.  Having eaten your hostess’s salt, there is an obligation of silence imposed, unless one can speak in terms of praise.

At Home Again.—­Immediately after one’s return home it is obligatory to write what is sometimes called “the bread-and-butter letter”—­that in which one expresses her pleasure in the visit and her appreciation of the hospitality received.  A serviceable form for this follows: 

My Dear Mrs. Blank: 
I wish to tell you at once how much I enjoyed my visit to your
charming home and how truly I appreciate all you did to make my stay so
pleasant.  I shall always remember my good times with you, and
especially that most delightful picnic to Ferndale.

With kind remembrances to Mr. Blank and to Lois, who helped so much to
make me happy, believe me,
Yours most sincerely,
Mary Annesley.

This recognition of hospitality enjoyed must on no account be omitted.

VISITING ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS.