About Being Thoughtful.—­She should be careful to avoid injury to any of her hostess’ pretty things or her furnishings.  The story is told of a girl who, conducted to her hostess’s beautiful guest room, furnished with the utmost daintiness in white, threw her umbrella and dusty coat on the spotless counterpane, exclaiming:  “What a lovely room!” It was not lovely when she left it.  The wall was defaced by marks made by scratching matches; the bureau scarf was blackened by the curling-iron; there were ink spots on the hemstitched sheets where she had written letters in bed, and something that would not come out was spilled on the table cover.  It does not show that you are accustomed to nice things to be so negligent and careless; it shows you are not accustomed to them and do not know how to treat them; and it makes you a visitor the hostess is glad to get rid of, and never invites again.

[716 Mothers’ remedies]

The guest, young or old, should take herself out of the way part of the time; she shouldn’t be always in evidence.  Let her go to her own room and write letters, read, or take her work out of doors; in other words, show an ability to entertain herself which releases her hostess from that responsibility for the time being.  This is much better than having one’s friend in one’s constant presence.

Outside Acquaintance.—­If one is staying with a friend and has other acquaintances in the same place she will naturally expect them to call on her.  If her callers are strangers to her hostess, they should ask for her.  The hostess may see them or ask to be excused with equal propriety.  The guest is at liberty to accept outside invitations which do not include her hostess, but should always consult her in reference to them.  She has no right to invite any of her friends to a meal without first mentioning her wish to her hostess and securing a cordial acquiescence.  She must not make a convenience of her friend’s house, and if a girl or young woman, she must not receive there any man or woman of whom her parents disapprove.  This is disloyal to them, and an imposition upon her hostess.

Other Points to Observe.—­If a visitor can play, sing, recite, tell stories, or in any way contribute to the pleasure of her friends or other guests, she should comply cheerfully with requests that she do so.  On the other hand, she should not monopolize the piano.  She should enter readily into any plans proposed for her entertainment; even though they may not be especially agreeable, she should subscribe to the kindly intent.

The question as to how much assistance the visitor should volunteer in case her hostess keeps but one servant, or does her own work, is dependent upon circumstances.  She certainly shouldn’t follow her hostess all over the house with offers of help:  “Can’t I do this?” “Shan’t I do that?” Let her quickly and unostentatiously render such small services as are helpful without being obtrusive.  She may care for her own room; she may fill the vases with flowers; she may tell stories to the children or take them for a walk, but she must carefully respect the hostess’s privacy and not intrude in the rear regions where the domestic rites are performed, without her hostess’s permission.  And whatever aid she renders she should give according to her hostess’s method, not her own.