One dinner generally means another a short time afterwards, since in selecting the small number who can be entertained one must necessarily leave out others who have equal claims to hospitality and whose sense of being slighted must be appeased.  And if the hostess is socially prominent she may find herself embarked on a course of entertainments that will tax her time and her funds to a considerable degree.

Invitations to a dinner must be sent at least two weeks in advance.  As has already been stated, an immediate and unconditional acceptance or regret is demanded.

Precedence.—­At these formal dinners, the question of precedence engages the hostess’s attention, If all the guests are about on equal terms, the host takes out the oldest or most prominent lady, seating her at his right.  The other, guests are paired off according to the hostess’s ideas of social propriety or congeniality.  No man ever takes his wife in to dinner.  The place of honor for men is at the hostess’s right hand.  Dinner cards, legibly written, are placed on the napkins.  The men draw out the chairs and seat the ladies, then seat themselves.  Generally, at a small dinner, the hostess tells each man before leaving the drawing room, whom he is to take out:  at large functions, he finds in the men’s cloak room an envelope addressed to him containing the lady’s name.  He seeks out his partner and gives her his arm when dinner is announced.

Be Prompt.—­It is almost unpardonable for a guest to be late at a dinner.  The arrival should be within fifteen minutes of the time named on the invitation, never earlier.  The hostess must be ready in ample time, and must appear calm and untroubled.  Nervousness bespeaks the novice in entertaining.  Generally, however, even if the affair passes off without any contretemps she is ready to say “Thank heaven it’s over!”

Now this is not to say that one may not serve a good and very enjoyable dinner or luncheon to a few friends, without as much trouble and expense as are here indicated.  This is simply to state how such meals are served, formally and informally.  Knowing the proper procedure one may adopt as much or as little as her circumstances and style of living warrant.

[Manners and social customs 701]

THE INFORMAL DINNER

The informal dinner resembles the formal, save that fewer courses are served, the menu is simpler, and the decorations less elaborate.  The serving is on the same order—­a la Russe.  If one is fortunate enough to have a maid who combines the experience of a waitress with the qualities of a good cook, by ingenious planning it is possible to serve six persons acceptably in the approved fashion.

But there are thousands of households in which but one maid is kept, and in this case what may be termed “the family dinner” will be found better, because there will be no endeavor to do more than one can accomplish with the means at her command.  Better by far serve well and simply than attempt something more elaborate and fall short in it.