In case a guest drops out at the last moment, as sometimes happens, one may ask a very intimate friend, a relative, or some member of the family to fill the vacant seat.  Such a “last minute” invitation is no compliment:  one knows she is simply a substitute, but good sense and kindliness should prompt the recipient to help out in the dilemma, which may happen to her next time.

Other Particulars.—­Dinner invitations are issued in the name of the host and hostess, so also those for luncheons to which both men and women are invited.  Invitations to teas, card and garden parties, “at homes,” balls, and women’s luncheons are in the name of the hostess alone.

Guests should present themselves punctually at the hour named in a dinner or luncheon invitation, allowing themselves just time to remove wraps, etc., before the meal is announced.  It is almost unpardonable to be late.

Invitations are sent to people in mourning after the month following bereavement, not because acceptance is expected, but as a compliment, except that cards for dinners, luncheons and balls are not sent.  Wedding cards and announcements, and cards for large general receptions are sent.  During the year of mourning people thus remembered send cards with a narrow black border in acknowledgment.

Unless an entertainment is exclusively for women, an invitation to a married woman should include her husband.  That he is personally unknown to the hostess does not matter.

[Manners and social customs 695]

Informal invitations.

Invitations by telephone are permissible for informal affairs, but why a woman should spend hours at the telephone, calling up various parties and losing her temper over “Central’s” dilatoriness when she could sit comfortably at her desk and write notes, is difficult to understand.

Whereas the formal luncheon invitation simply substitutes the word “luncheon” for “dinner,” the informal invitation is written in the first person and requires a reply in the same form.  It may be said again that the response should follow the form of the invitation; this is an invariable rule.  This model is usually employed: 

My dear Mrs. Henderson: 
Will you and Mr. Henderson dine with us informally on Tuesday
evening, January twenty-seventh, at half-past six o’clock? 
Trusting we may have the pleasure of seeing you, I am,
Yours sincerely,
Mary Bronson.

In reply the recipient will write: 

My dear Mrs. Bronson: 
Mr. Henderson and I accept, with much pleasure your very kind
invitation to dine with you on Tuesday evening, January
twenty-seventh, at half past six o’clock. 
Yours sincerely,
Helen Henderson.

If the invitation is for luncheon, that word is substituted; afternoon written in the place of evening, and Mr. Henderson is left out.  In an acceptance, one should repeat the date and hour, that no mistake may occur.  If the invitation must be declined, it is not correct to explain the nature of the engagement or whatever reason occurs for refusal.  We say we “are unable to accept,” not that we “will not be able;” the refusal rests in the present.