The indistinctness with which people who introduce often pronounce a name is not infrequently the cause of awkwardness.  The failure to hear is no fault on the part of those introduced, but rather a mishap chargeable to the person who brings them together.  In this case, try to think of something besides “I didn’t catch the name;” that is so cut and dried.  Say rather, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand Mrs. A. when she presented me.”  Forgetting a name in the act of introducing someone is a much more grievous failure; it speaks for your own social unaccustomedness, and is a poor compliment to the person you introduce.  Do not attempt an introduction unless you are sure of your names.

One of the society woman’s most necessary accomplishments is the ability to remember names and fit them to the individual to whom they belong.  It is an art she should sedulously cultivate.

[Manners and social customs 687]

It is not etiquette, but misplaced politeness, to perform what may be termed casual introductions—­as in accidental encounters.  Never introduce on the street, unless your acquaintance is to join you.  Don’t introduce in a street car or any public conveyance.  In “our best society”—­so-called—­it is not considered good form to introduce people in church.  People do not go to church for social purposes.  In village neighborhoods and the less fashionable city churches, this rule is often violated in the vestibule, where acquaintances linger to greet each other and introductions are not infrequent.  But in the body of the church—­the space set apart for purposes of worship—­an introduction is wholly out of place.

Try to remember family relationships and feuds, that you may not attempt to introduce those at enmity with each other.  A woman once introduced, at a crowded function, two sisters who had not recognized each other for years, and afterwards exulted in having “made them speak.”  Their manners were far superior to hers.

In Company.—­At a reception or dinner-party it is perfectly proper for those who have never been introduced to converse with each other without such formality.  The roof under which they meet confers the privilege.  Indeed, it is often the greatest kindness to speak to a shy person or one who evidently has few acquaintances present, relieving his embarrassment and putting him at ease.  Not to reply courteously to such overtures is great rudeness.  The story is told of a prominent society woman who addressed a stranger at such a function and actually received no reply.  Later, the hostess brought up the strange person and introduced her.  Then she explained that, not having been properly introduced, she felt she could not respond.  The society woman quietly remarked, “Oh, was that the trouble?  I thought you were deaf and dumb.”