A Matter of Habit.—Manners, like everything else in life, must be learned by rule, the only possible exception being in the case of those who have been brought up in what we call our best society, where what to do and how to dress and behave have been matters of habit from earliest childhood. When once the rules of etiquette are firmly fixed, they become instinctive and are obeyed unconsciously. The individual then has “good manners.” No one can be easy and graceful who must stop to think how to do things. Familiarity with form breeds ease and grace of manner. Therefore those who would be letter perfect must practise the rules of good form at all times and places. Manners cannot be put on and off like a garment. Moreover, as has just been said, the politeness that comes of such observance is the best possible armor against the rudeness or boorishness of the ignorant and untrained.
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Many books on etiquette are written, most of which are intended for those in fashionable society who have a number of servants and entertain both extensively and expensively. Other writers take too much for granted; they presuppose a knowledge of the subject which the novice who needs instruction does not possess. This department is intended for those who desire to add to their knowledge of social forms, who do not wish to appear ignorant and awkward, and who, in a more limited social sphere, still wish to entertain properly and pleasantly, and comport themselves in correct form.
CONCERNING INTRODUCTIONS.
The first and most positive rule in regard to introductions is that a man is introduced to a woman; never the reverse, no matter how distinguished the man may be.
The best form is the simplest. “Mrs. A., allow me to introduce Mr. B.” If the introduction has been solicited, the hostess may say “Mrs. A., Mr. B. desires the honor of knowing you.” If either party resides in another city, she may mention the fact, or any other little circumstance that may aid the two to enter into conversation. The woman does not rise when a man is introduced, but if she is standing may offer her hand. To say “How do you do” is much better form than “Glad to know you” or “Pleased to meet you,”
The person who performs an introduction should be careful to choose an opportune moment. Do not interrupt a conversation to introduce another party, unless, as hostess, you feel it has continued so long that it is time the talk became more general. It is not courteous to simply acknowledge an introduction, and not exchange a few words.
Women and Introductions.—In introducing women, the younger is introduced to the older; if nearly of the same age a distinction is immaterial. Young girls are introduced to matrons, and the younger matrons to those older.
If a woman is seated when another woman is introduced she should rise and offer her hand, and then invite the new acquaintance to a seat near her where they may converse. If a man has been talking with the lady who rises, he should rise also and remain standing until they are seated, when he may bow and take himself away unless requested to remain. Generally, this is the proper moment to leave.