who was here, who brought me the news, in fact, had
no idea what I was going through. I suffered
immensely. Then it passed away. I cannot
repeat an emotion. No one can, except sentimentalists.
And you are awfully unjust, Basil. You come down
here to console me. That is charming of you.
You find me consoled, and you are furious. How
like a sympathetic person! You remind me of a
story Harry told me about a certain philanthropist
who spent twenty years of his life in trying to get
some grievance redressed, or some unjust law altered—I
forget exactly what it was. Finally he succeeded,
and nothing could exceed his disappointment.
He had absolutely nothing to do, almost died of ennui,
and became a confirmed misanthrope. And besides,
my dear old Basil, if you really want to console me,
teach me rather to forget what has happened, or to
see it from a proper artistic point of view.
Was it not Gautier who used to write about la consolation
des arts? I remember picking up a little vellum-covered
book in your studio one day and chancing on that delightful
phrase. Well, I am not like that young man you
told me of when we were down at Marlow together, the
young man who used to say that yellow satin could
console one for all the miseries of life. I love
beautiful things that one can touch and handle.
Old brocades, green bronzes, lacquer-work, carved ivories,
exquisite surroundings, luxury, pomp—there
is much to be got from all these. But the artistic
temperament that they create, or at any rate reveal,
is still more to me. To become the spectator
of one’s own life, as Harry says, is to escape
the suffering of life. I know you are surprised
at my talking to you like this. You have not
realized how I have developed. I was a schoolboy
when you knew me. I am a man now. I have
new passions, new thoughts, new ideas. I am different,
but you must not like me less. I am changed,
but you must always be my friend. Of course,
I am very fond of Harry. But I know that you
are better than he is. You are not stronger—
you are too much afraid of life—but you
are better. And how happy we used to be together!
Don’t leave me, Basil, and don’t quarrel
with me. I am what I am. There is nothing
more to be said.”
The painter felt strangely moved. The lad was
infinitely dear to him, and his personality had been
the great turning point in his art. He could
not bear the idea of reproaching him any more.
After all, his indifference was probably merely a
mood that would pass away. There was so much
in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.
“Well, Dorian,” he said at length, with
a sad smile, “I won’t speak to you again
about this horrible thing, after to-day. I only
trust your name won’t be mentioned in connection
with it. The inquest is to take place this afternoon.
Have they summoned you?”
Dorian shook his head, and a look of annoyance passed
over his face at the mention of the word “inquest.”
There was something so crude and vulgar about everything
of the kind. “They don’t know my
name,” he answered.