Keep your eye upon the miner. 
  When it’s wet and growing wetter
  ’Twill be worse before it’s better. 
  When the tide is at its ebb
  Fix your gaze on SIDNEY WEBB. 
  When the tide is at high level
  Modernists discuss the Devil. 
  Floods upon the Thames or Kennet
  Stimulate the brain of BENNETT;
  While a waterspout foretells
  Fresh activities in WELLS. 
  When it’s calm in the Atlantic
  Gooseberries become gigantic. 
  When it’s rough in the Pacific
  Laying hens are less prolific. 
  When the clouds are moving largo
  There is no restraining MARGOT. 
  When their movement is con brio
  ’Ware CHIOZZA MONEY (LEO)! 
  When the sun is bright but spotty
  Diarists become more dotty. 
  When the sun is dim and hazy
  Diarists become more crazy. 
  When the nights are calm and still
  Faster travels GARVIN’S quill. 
  When the blizzard’s blast is hissing
  REPINGTON is reminiscing.

If you ponder well these lines You can read the weather signs In accordance with the rule Binding both on sage and fool:—­ Anything in mortal ken May befall us anywhen.

* * * * *

COMMERCIAL IMPORTUNITY.

     “Services!  Dozens other cars available, L1,500 to L50.  Call and
    insult us.”

     Motor Journal.

* * * * *

MORE VISIONS OF THE UNSEEN.

     “The roads are peculiarly situated, and are dangerous not only
    because they are main cross roads, but also on account of the
    hidden view they afford of each other.”—­Local Paper.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Teacher. “AND WHAT DOES ff MEAN?”

Pupil (after mature deliberation). “Fump-Fump.”]

* * * * *

THE DEVOTED LOVER.

     ["Loiterers will be treated as trespassers.”—­Notice on Tube
    Station.]

  No longer laud, my Jane, the ancient wooer
    Who for the favours of his ladye fayre
  Would sally forth to strafe the evil-doer
    Or beard the dragon in his inmost lair;
  Find it no more, dear heart, a ground for stray tiffs
    Because, forsooth, you can’t detect in me
  A tendency to go out whopping caitiffs
    Daily from ten till three.

  He proved himself in his especial fashion,
    Daring the worst to earn a lover’s boon,
  But I, no less than he a prey to passion,
    Faced risks as great this very afternoon,
  When at the Tube a long half-hour I waited
    (In fond obedience to your written beck)
  Where loiterers, it practically stated,
    Would get it in the neck.