How can I describe the spending of that evening?  How can I get sufficient power out of the English language to let you know what a nuisance that bird was to us?  How can I tell you of the cool manner in which he inspected our domestic arrangements, walking slowly from room to room, and standing on one leg till his curiosity was satisfied, or how describe the expression of wretchedness that he threw over his entire person when he was tethered to the banisters, and found out that, owing to our limited accommodation he was to remain in the hall all night, or picture the way in which he ate the snails specially provided for him, verifying to the letter the naturalist’s description of his appetite.  How can you who have not had a stork staying with you have any idea of the change that came over his temper after his supper, how he pecked at everybody who came near him; how he stood sentinel at the foot of the stairs; how my wife and I made fruitless attempts to get past, followed by ignominious retreats; how at last we outmanoeuvred him by throwing a tablecloth over his head, and then rushing by him, gained the top of the stairs before he could disentangle himself.

Added to all this we had to endure language from that parrot which was really shocking:  indeed, so scurrilous did he become that we had at last to take him and lock him up in the coal-hole, where, owing to the darkness of his bedroom, or from fatigue, he presently swore himself to sleep.

Well, by this time, we were quite ready for rest, and the forgetfulness which, we hoped, sleep would bring with it; but our peace was not to last long.  About 2 A.M. my wife clutched my hair and woke me up.  “James, James, listen!” I listened.  I heard a sort of scrambling noise outside the door.  “The water running into the cistern, my dear,” I said sleepily.

“James, don’t be absurd; that horrid thing has broken its string, and is coming upstairs.”

I listened again.  It really sounded like it.

“James, if you don’t go at once, I must.  You know the nursery door is always left open, and if that horrid thing should get in to baby——­”

“But, my dear,” said I, “what am I to do in my present defenceless state of clothing, if he should take to pecking?”

My wife’s expression of contempt at the idea of considering myself before the baby determined me at once, come what might, to go and do him battle.  Out I went, and there, sure enough, he was on the landing resting himself after his unusual exertion by tucking up one leg.  He looked so subdued that I was about to take him by the string and lead him downstairs, when he drew back his head, and in less time than it takes to relate, I was back in my room, bleeding from a severe wound in the leg.  I shouted out to the nurse to shut the door, and determined to let the infamous bird go where he liked.  I bound up my leg and went to bed again; but the thought that there was a stork wandering about the house prevented me from getting any more sleep.  From certain sounds that we heard, we had little doubt that he was spending some of his time in the cupboard where we kept our surplus crockery, and an inspection the next day confirmed this.