It had a walking gentleman,
          A leading juvenile,
        First lady in book-muslin dressed. 
          With a galvanic smile;
        Thereto a singing chambermaid,
          Benignant heavy pa,
        And oh, heavier still was the heavier vill-
          Ain, with his fierce “Ha!  Ha!”

        There wasn’t an author from Shakespeare down—­
          Or up—­to Boucicault,
        These amateurs weren’t competent
          To collar and assault. 
        And when the winter time came round—­
          “Season” ’s a stagier phrase—­
        The Am.  Dram.  Ass. assaulted one
          Of the Bard of Avon’s plays.

        ’Twas As You Like It that they chose;
          For the leading lady’s heart
        Was set on playing Rosalind
          Or some other page’s part,
        And the President of the Am.  Dram.  Ass.,
          A stalwart dry-goods clerk,
        Was cast for Oriando, in which role
          He felt he’d make his mark.

        “I mind me,” said the President,
          (All thoughtful was his face,)
        “When Oriando was taken by Thingummy
          That Charles was played by Mace.
        Charles hath not many lines to speak,
          Nay, not a single length—­
        If find we can a Mussulman
          (That is, a man of strength),
        And bring him on the stage as Charles—­
          But, alas, it can’t be did—­”
        “It can,” replied the Treasurer;
          “Let’s get the Hunky Kid.”

        This Hunky Kid of whom he spoke
          Belonged to the P.R.;
        He always had his hair cut short,
          And always had catarrh;
        His voice was gruff, his language rough,
          His forehead villainous low,
        And ’neath his broken nose a vast
          Expanse of jaw did show. 
        He was forty-eight about the chest,
          And his fore-arm at the mid-
        Dle measured twenty-one and a-half—­
          Such was the Hunky Kid!

        The Am.  Dram.  Ass. they have engaged
          This pet of the P.R.;
        As Charles the Wrestler he’s to be
          A bright particular star. 
        And when they put the programme out,
          Announce him thus they did: 
        Oriando...Mr. ROMEO JONES;
          Charles...Mr. HUNKY KID.

        The night has come; the house is packed,
          From pit to gallery,
        As those who through the curtain peep
          Quake inwardly to see. 
        A squeak’s heard in the orchestra,
          As the leader draws across
        Th’ intestines of the agile cat
          The tail of the noble hoss.