So the Whither and the Why alike mysterious were counted;
And as Faith steps in to aid where baffled
Reason must retire,
There were those averred so good a man as Biggs might
well have
mounted
Up to glory like Elijah in a chariot of
fire!
For indeed he was a good man; when he sat beside the
portal
Of the Bath-house at his pigeon-hole,
a saint within a frame,
We used to think his face was as the face of an immortal,
As he handed us our tickets, and took
payment for the same.
And, Oh, the sweet advice with which he made of such
occasion
A duplicate detergent for our morals and
our limbs—
For he taught us that decorum was the essence of salvation,
And that cleanliness and godliness were
merely synonyms;
But that open-air ablution in the river was a treason
To the purer instincts, fit for dogs and
aborigines,
And that wrath at such misconduct was the providential
reason
For the jaws of alligators and the tails
of stingarees.
But, alas, our friend was gone, our guide, philosopher,
and tutor,
And we doubled our potations, just to
clear the inner view;
But we only saw the darklier through the bottom of
the pewter,
And the mystery seemed likewise to be
multiplied by two.
And the worst was that our failure to unriddle the
enigma
In the “rags” of rival towns
was made a byword and a scoff,
Till each soul in the community felt branded with
the stigma
Of the unexplained suspicion of poor Biggs’s
taking off.
So a dozen of us rose and swore this thing should
be no longer:
Though the means that Nature furnished
had been tried without
result,
There were forces supersensual that higher were and
stronger,
And with consentaneous clamour we pronounced
for the occult.
Then Joe Thomson slung a tenner, and Jack Robinson
a tanner,
And each according to his means respectively
disbursed;
And a letter in your humble servant’s most seductive
manner
Was despatched to Sludge the Medium, recently
of Darlinghurst.
II.
“I am Biggs,” the spirit said (’twas
through the medium’s lips he
said
it;
But the voice that spoke, the accent,
too, were Biggs’s very own,
Be it, therefore, not set down to our unmerited discredit,
That collectively we sickened as we recognised
the tone).
“From a saurian interior, Christian friends,
I now address you”—
(And “Oh heaven!” or its correlative,
groaned shuddering we)—
“While there yet remains a scrap of my identity,
for, bless you,
This ungodly alligator’s fast assimilating
me.
“For although through nine abysmal days I’ve
fought with his
digestion,
Being hostile to his processes and loth
to pulpify,
It is rapidly becoming a most complicated question
How much of me is crocodile, how much
of him is I.