“Oh!  That is capital!  Really capital!”

“And he can send his old father and mother the money as usual, and thus morality is satisfied.”

THE RELIC

To the Abbe Louis d’Ennemare, at Soissons.

“My Dear Abbe: 

“My marriage with your cousin is broken off in the stupidest manner, on account of a stupid trick which I almost involuntarily played my intended, in my embarrassment, and I turn to you, my old schoolfellow, for you may be able to help me out of the difficulty.  If you can, I shall be grateful to you until I die.

“You know Gilberte, or rather you think you know her, for do we ever understand women?  All their opinions, their ideas, their creeds, are a surprise to us.  They are all full of twists and turns, of the unforeseen, of unintelligible arguments, or defective logic and of obstinate ideas, which seem final, but which they alter because a little bird came and perched on the window ledge.

“I need not tell you that your cousin is very religious, as she was brought up by the White (or was it the Black?) Ladies at Nancy.  You know that better than I do, but what you perhaps do not know, is, that she is just as excitable about other matters as she is about religion.  Her head flies away, just like a leaf being whirled away by the wind; and she is a woman, or rather a girl, more so than many are, for she is moved, or made angry in a moment, starting off at a gallop after affection, just as she does after hatred, and returning in the same manner; and she is as pretty ... as you know, and more charming than I can say ... as you will never know.

“Well, we became engaged, and I adored her, as I adore her still, and she appeared to love me.

“One evening, I received a telegram summoning me to Cologne for a consultation, which might be followed by a serious and difficult operation, and as I had to start the next morning, I went to wish Gilberte goodbye, and tell her why I could not dine with them on Wednesday, but on Friday, the day of my return.  Ah!  Take care of Fridays, for I assure you they are unlucky!

“When I told her that I had to go to Germany, I saw that her eyes filled with tears, but when I said I should be back very soon, she clapped her hands, and said: 

“’I am very glad you are going, then!  You must bring me back something; a mere trifle, just a souvenir, but a souvenir that you have chosen for me.  You must find out what I should like best, do you hear?  And then I shall see whether you have any imagination.’

“She thought for a few moments, and then added: 

“’I forbid you to spend more than twenty francs on it.  I want it for the intention, and for the remembrance of your penetration, and not for its intrinsic value.’

“And then, after another moment’s silence, she said, in a low voice, and with downcast eyes.