“Sing to me,” said I.
Then imagine my surprise—I, who had heard nothing but German fall from her lips?—when in a heavenly contralto she sang a chanson from “La Fille de Madame Angot,” an opera forgotten these ten years!
“Elle est tellement innocente!”
She had risen, and she stood there before me with a halo of moonshine above her head. The hot blood rushed to my ears. Barmaid, Socialist, or whatever she might be, she was lovable. In a moment I was kissing her hand, the hand so small, so white, and yet so firm. A thousand inarticulate words came to my lips—from my heart! Did the hand tremble? I thought so. But swiftly she drew it from my clasp, all the joy and gladness gone from her face and eyes.
“No, no!” she cried; “this must not be; it must not be!”
“But I——” I began eagerly.
“You must not say it; I command you. If you speak, Gretchen will be Gretchen no more. Yes, the King seeks Gretchen; but will you drive her away from her only haven?” with a choking sound.
“Gretchen, trust me. Shall I go to-morrow? Shall I leave you in peace?” Somehow I believed myself to be in danger. “Speak!”
There was an interval of stillness, broken only by the beating of hearts. Then:
“Stay. But speak no word of love; it is not for such as I. Stay and be my friend, for I need one. Cannot a woman look with favor upon a man but he must needs become her lover? I shall trust you as I have trusted other men. And though you fail me in the end, as others have done, still I shall trust you. Herr, I conspire against the King. For what? The possession of my heart. All my life I have stood alone, so alone.”
“I will be your friend, Gretchen; I will speak no word of love. Will that suffice?”
“It is all I ask, dear friend. And now will you leave me?”
“Leave you?” I cried. “I thought you bade me stay?”
“Ah,” putting out her hand; “you men do not understand. Sometimes a woman wishes to be alone when—when she feels that she—she cannot hold back her tears!”
Gravely I bent over her hand and kissed it. It seemed to me as I let the hand fall that I had never kissed a woman on the lips. I turned and went slowly down the path. Once I looked back. I saw something white lying at the foot of the tree. Heaven knows what a struggle it was, but I went on. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that I loved her. When I reached the inn I turned again, but I saw nothing. I sat in my room a long time that night, smoking my pipe till the candle gasped feebly and died in the stick, and the room was swallowed in darkness.
I did not know, I was not sure, but I thought that, so long as I might not love Phyllis, it would not be a very hard task to love her image, which was Gretchen. You see, Phyllis was so very far away and Gretchen was so near!