Same day.

. . .  Nothing attacks the soul.  The torture can certainly be very great, especially the apprehension, but questions coming from the distance can be silenced by acceptation of what is close.  The weather is sweet and soft, and Nature is indifferent.  The dead will not spoil the spring. . . .

And then, once the horror of the moment is over, when one sees its place taken by only the memory of those who have gone, there is a kind of sweetness in the thought of what really exists.  In these solemn woods one realises the inanity of sepulchres and the pomp of funerals.  The souls of the brave have no need of all that. . . .

4 o’clock.

I have just finished the fourth portrait, a lieutenant in my company.  He is delighted.  Daylight fades.  I send you my thoughts, full of cheerfulness.  Hope and wisdom.

January 3, 1915.

. . .  Yesterday, after the first satisfaction of finding myself freed from manual work, I contemplated my stripes, and I felt some humiliation, because instead of the great anonymous superiority of the ordinary soldier which had put me beyond all military valuation, I had now the distinction of being a low number in military rank!

But then I felt that each time I looked at my little bits of red wool I should remember my social duty, a duty which my leaning towards individualism makes me forget only too often.  So I knew I was still free to cultivate my soul, having this final effort to demand of it.

January 4, despatched on the 7th (in a mine).

I am writing to you at the entrance to an underground passage which leads under the enemy emplacement.  My little job is to look out for the safety of the sappers, who are hollowing out and supporting and consolidating an excavation about twelve metres deep already.  To get to this place we have to plunge into mud up to our thighs, but during the eight hours we spend here we are sheltered by earthworks several metres thick.

I have six men, with whom I have led an existence of sleeplessness and privation for three days:  this is the benefit I derive from the joyful event of my new status; but as a matter of fact I am glad to take part in these trials again.

Besides, in a few days the temporary post which I held before may be given to me altogether.  Horrible weather, and to make matters worse, I burnt an absolutely new boot, and am soaking wet, like the others, but in excellent health.

Dear, I am now going to sleep a little.

January 6, evening.

DEAR MOTHER,—­Here we are in a billet after seventy-two consecutive hours without sleep, living in a nameless treacly substance—­rain and filth.

I have had several letters from you, dear beloved mother; the last is dated January 1.  How I love them!  But before speaking of them I must sleep a little.

January 7, towards mid-day.