October 17, 3 o’clock.

To write to you and to know that my letters reach you is a daily paradise to me.  I watch for the hour when it is possible to write.

Yes, beloved mother, you must feel a revival of courage and desire to live; never must a single affection, however good, be counted as a pretext for life.  No accident should make us forget the reason we are alive.  Of course, we can prefer this or that mission in life, but let us accept the one which presents itself, however surprising or passing it may be.  You feel as I do, that happiness is in store for us, but let us not think of it.  Let us think of the actions of to-day, of all the sacrifices they imply.

October 22.

I accept all from the hands of fate, and I have captured every delight that lurks under cover of every moment.

Ah! if men only knew how much peace they squander, and how much may be contained in one minute, how far less would they suffer from this seeming violence.  No doubt there are extreme torments that I do not yet know, and which perhaps test the soul in a way I do not suspect, but I exert all the strength of my soul to accept each moment and each test.  What is necessary is to recognise love and beauty triumphant over violence.  No few seasons of hate and grief will have the power to overthrow eternal beauty, and of this beauty we all have an imperishable store.

October 23.

MY VERY DEAR MOTHER,—­I have re-read Barres’s article, ’l’Aigle et le Rossignol.’  It is still as beautiful, but it no longer seems in complete harmony.  Now nothing exists outside the absolute present; everything else is like ornaments put to one side until the holiday, the far-off, uncertain holiday.  But what does it matter!—­the ornaments are treasured up in safety.  Thus do I cherish the treasures of affection, of legitimate ambition, of praiseworthy aspiration.  All of these I have covered over, and I live but in the present moment.

This morning, under the fine sky, I remembered the music of yesterday:  I was full of happiness.  Forgive me for not living in an anguish of longing to return.  I believe that you approve of my giving back our dearest hopes into other hands than ours.

October 27.

If, as I hope intensely, I have the joy of seeing you again, you will know the miraculous way in which I have been led by Providence.  I have only had to bow before a power and a beneficence which surpassed all my proud conceptions.

I can say that God has been within me as I am within God, and I make firm resolves always to feel such a communion.

You see, the thing is to put life to good account, not as we understand it, even in our noblest affections, but in saying to ourselves:  Let us eat and drink to all that is eternal, for to-morrow we die to all that is of earth.  We acquire an increase of love in that moment when we renounce our mean and anxious hopes.