Hiding my tears from you! the first tears that I have shed for sorrow for these ten years; I am too proud to let you see them, but I did not reproach you in the least.

“Yes, you are right.  I ought not to be so selfish as to bind your long and brilliant career to my so-soon out-worn life. . . .  And yet—­how if I have been mistaken?  How if I have taken your love melancholy for a deliberation?  Oh, my love, do not leave me in suspense; punish this jealous wife of yours, but give her back the sense of her love and yours; the whole woman lies in that—­that consciousness sanctifies everything.

“Since your mother came, since you paid a visit to Mlle. de Rodiere, I have been gnawed by doubts dishonoring to us both.  Make me suffer for this, but do not deceive me; I want to know everything that your mother said and that you think!  If you have hesitated between some alternative and me, I give you back your liberty. . . .  I will not let you know what happens to me; I will not shed tears for you to see; only—­I will not see you again. . . .  Ah!  I cannot go on, my heart is breaking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  I have been sitting benumbed and stupid for some moments.  Dear love, I do not find that any feeling of pride rises against you; you are so kind-hearted, so open; you would find it impossible to hurt me or to deceive me; and you will tell me the truth, however cruel it may be.  Do you wish me to encourage your confession?  Well, then, heart of mine, I shall find comfort in a woman’s thought.  Has not the youth of your being been mine, your sensitive, wholly gracious, beautiful, and delicate youth?  No woman shall find henceforth the Gaston whom I have known, nor the delicious happiness that he has given me. . . .  No; you will never love again as you have loved, as you love me now; no, I shall never have a rival, it is impossible.  There will be no bitterness in my memories of our love, and I shall think of nothing else.  It is out of your power to enchant any woman henceforth by the childish provocations, the charming ways of a young heart, the soul’s winning charm, the body’s grace, the swift communion of rapture, the whole divine cortege of young love, in fine.

“Oh, you are a man now, you will obey your destiny, weighing and considering all things.  You will have cares, and anxieties, and ambitions, and concerns that will rob her of the unchanging smile that made your lips fair for me.  The tones that were always so sweet for me will be troubled at times; and your eyes that lighted up with radiance from heaven at the sight of me, will often be lustreless for her.  And besides, as it is impossible to love you as I love you, you will never care for that woman as you have cared for me.  She will never keep a constant watch over herself as I have done; she will never study your happiness at every moment with an intuition