am still living to praise Him for many, many mercies.  Mr. Pinkerton waited on me day and night, often depriving himself of sleep and rest in order to do it, and when convalescence set in, and with the restlessness of a sick person, I used to fancy I would be more comfortable up stairs, he used to carry me up and down and gratify all my whims.  For five weeks I was in bed, and many more confined to my room and the house.  But the greatest reason for thankfulness is, that God has in His great mercy brought me to a knowledge of Himself, and of my own lost state as a guilty sinner.  It was while lying those long weary days on the bed that I was made to see that for ten long years I had been deceiving myself.  Instead of being a Christian and being prepared to die, I was still in the gall of bitterness and the bonds of iniquity, and if God had taken me away during that sickness, it would have been with a lie in my right hand.  Now when I look back on those long years spent in sin and in self-deception, I wonder at God’s loving kindness and patience in sparing me still to show forth in me His goodness and forbearance.  Truly it is of His mercies that I was not consumed.  How often I taught others and talked to them of the love of Christ, and yet I had not that love myself.  How many times I sat down to His table with his children, and yet I had no portion nor lot in the matter.  Sometimes when I think how near destruction I was, with literally but a step between me and death, eternal death, and yet God raised me up and brought me to Christ and made me love Him, and how ever since He has been watching over me giving me the measure of comfort and peace that I enjoy and giving me the desire to know and love Him more, I wonder at my own coldness, at the frequency with which I forget Him.  How strong sin still is over me, how prone I am to wander away from Christ and to forget His love, to allow sin to come between me and Him, and yet He still follows me with His love, still He brings me back to Him, the good Shepherd.  Oh! if I could live nearer Christ, if I could realize and rejoice in His love.  Now when I think how near I may be to the eternal world, that at any moment a severe attack of pain may come on which will carry me off, it is good to know that my Saviour will be with me; that He is mine and I am His.  It is not easy to look death calmly in the face and know that my days are numbered, yet can I not participate in the promise that He Himself will come and take me to be with Him where He is.  I would like to be allowed to live longer and be permitted to bring souls to Christ, but I feel assured that He will do what is best, and that He will not call me away as long as He has any work for me to do here I have a feeling that this will be my last letter to you, and I now take the opportunity of thanking you for all you have done for me, for all the care you bestowed on me, the prayers you have offered for me, and the kind thoughtfulness you still manifest for my welfare.  It would be a comfort to me if I could see and talk with you once more, but I fear that will never be in this world, but shall we not meet in our Saviour’s presence, purified, justified and sanctified through His blood?  With truest love and gratitude

I remain yours,