The night was a blur, like a bad dream.  Once she remembered jumping up and quickly locking the nursery door.  But that was the beginning of a return to her senses.  “I needn’t have done that,” she thought.  “It wasn’t fair.  It was even rather insulting.”  This thought made her quieter.  And later, as the night wore on, a feeling of having been unjust and foolish little by little emerged from the chaos and began to steady her.  But again the old dismay and dread and loathing would come back with a rush.  All at once her body from head to foot would grow cold and rigid.  And the power which a year ago with her sister she had excitedly sensed as the driving force of this whole town, now loomed brutal, savage!  The thought rose suddenly in her mind, “Amy.  She was his wife!  Five years!” And then in a revealing flash, “Her love was like that!  She taught him!”

With a bound that feeling of intimacy with her sister leaped to a climax—­burned!

It was long till she could quiet herself.  She had to do it by walking the floor. . . .  Thank heaven for the daylight and the small, round face of Susette peering over the edge of the crib.  Soon she had the child in her bed and they were looking at pictures.

Later she went back to her husband.  It cost her no slight effort of will, and it was a relief to find him gone.  On her dresser he had left a note: 

“I am sorry, dear—­it was all my fault.  I was a fool—­a clumsy fool.  But remember there is plenty of time—­and be certain absolutely that everything will be all right.”

She read it more than once that day, and it helped her prepare for the evening.  When Joe came home and took her in his arms, she knew at once that he meant her to feel there was nothing to be afraid of.

“I’ve got to be down at the office tonight,” was all he said.  But in his voice, low, kind and reassuring, like that of a big brother, there was a promise which gave her a thrill of gratitude and deep relief.  With it came some self-reproach, which caused her again to struggle, alone, and then go to Amy’s room to sleep.  She lay listening there for hours, carefully holding herself in check.  When she heard his key in the hall door, she sharply stiffened, held her breath. . . .  She heard him go into the small guest room which had been hers a year before. . . .  And then she cried softly to herself.  With the blessed relief of it, her love for Joe was coming back.

CHAPTER X

One evening about two months later Ethel was dressing for dinner.  As usual they were dining alone, but long ago she had taken the habit of dressing each night as though there were people coming.  Amy had taught her to do that; and after the death of her sister she had always made a point of “keeping up” for Joe’s sake, although often it had been an effort.  But it was no effort now.  She had been here for nearly an hour, absorbed in