Out and spake Sir Ingoldsby Bray,
  “What news?  What news?  Come tell to me! 
What news? what news, thou little Foot-page?—­
I’ve been whacking the foe till it seems an age
  Since I was in Ingoldsby Hall so free! 
What news? what news from Ingoldsby Hall? 
Come tell me now, thou page so small!”

  “O, Hawk and Hound Are safe and sound,
Beast in byre and Steed in stall;
  And the Watch-dog’s bark, As soon as it’s dark
Bays wakeful guard around Ingoldsby Hall!”

  —­“I care not a pound For Hawk or for Hound
For Steed in stall or for Watch-dog’s bay. 
  Fain would I hear Of my dainty dear;
How fares Dame Alice, my Lady gay?”—­
Sir Ingoldsby Bray, he said in his rage,
  “What news? what news? thou naughty Foot-page.”

The little Foot-page full low crouch’d he,
And he doff’d his cap, and he bended his knee,
“Now lithe and listen, Sir Bray, to me: 
Lady Alice sits lonely in bower and hall,
Her sighs they rise, and her tears they fall. 
  She sits alone, And she makes her moan;
  Dance and song, She considers quite wrong;
  Feast and revel Mere snares of the devil;
She mendeth her hose, and she crieth ’Alack! 
When will Sir Ingoldsby Bray come back?’”

“Thou liest! thou liest! thou naughty Foot-page,
Full loud doth thou lie, false Page, to me! 
  There in thy breast, ’Neath thy silken vest,
What scroll is that, false Page, I see?”

Sir Ingoldsby Bray in his rage drew near,
That little Foot-page, he blanch’d with fear;

“Now where may the Prior of Abingdon lie? 
King Richard’s confessor, I ween, is he,
  And tidings rare To him do I bear,
And news of price from his rich Ab-bee!”

“Now nay, now nay, thou naughty Page! 
No learned clerk I trow am I,
  But well I ween May there be seen
Dame Alice’s hand with half an eye;
Now nay, now nay, thou naughty Page,
From Abingdon Abbey comes not thy news;
  Although no clerk, Well may I mark
The particular turn of her P’s and Q’s!”

Sir Ingoldsby Bray in his fury and rage,
By the back of the neck takes that little Foot-page;
  The scroll he seizes, The page he squeezes,
And buffets—­and pinches his nose till he sneezes;—­
Then he cuts with his dagger the silken threads
Which they used in those days ’stead of little Queen’s heads.

When the contents of the scroll met his view,
Sir Ingoldsby Bray in a passion grew,
  Backward he drew His mailed shoe,
And he kicked that naughty Foot-page, that he flew
Like a cloth-yard shaft from a bended yew,
I may not say whither—­I never knew. 
  “Now count the slain Upon Ascalon plain—­
Go count them, my Squire, go count them again!”