Could I refuse?  I looked for the bright side.  It was not far to seek.  In the first place, the worst was over.  Never again could I lose what I had lost, nor—­so at least I thought then—­could I feel what I had felt.  Secondly, my sorrow was only mine, and no one’s else.  Those whom I loved were happy, every one of them;—­mamma and Fanny,—­I could not doubt it,—­happier far than I ever could have made them, even if I had always tried as hard as I did after they began to leave me,—­safer than they could ever have been in this world, and safe forever; and Jim,—­I would not begin now to think about him again, but just so much I must,—­he was happy with Emma.  Even thus much brought a fresh gush of tears, though not for him,—­I could still truly say that I had never shed one for him, and that was some comfort to my pride at least;—­but for Fanny; because I had sometimes thought that, when she was well and I had time to think of anything besides her, if I ever did tell anybody of the mistake and trouble I had fallen into, I would tell her,—­and now, however much I might need advice and assistance, that could never be.  My guardian and his wife were happy in each other, and would be happier still after I roused myself, as I must and ought, and ceased to sadden their home.  The world in which I still must live was, whatever people might say of it, not all sin, sickness, or sorrow.  Even where I sat, in one of those spots which most persons accounted the dreariest in it, I could hear the laughter of light-hearted children at their play, the soft lowing of cattle grazing in the pleasant fields, and shouts of strong men at their wholesome, useful work.  I knew there must be sickness, sin, and sorrow in it; but could not I do some little to help them, with my free hands and the health and strength which were almost always mine?  Very good I was not myself, but I had been watchfully brought up in an innocent home; there was no crime upon my conscience, and, even as I cast a rueful glance upon its blemishes, I heard a well-remembered voice say from a grave once more:  “Have patience with my little daughter.  Some of the richest fruits and souls are not the first to ripen.  The chief thing that she wants is time to mellow.”

And one of the brightest points in all the bright side was, that, in living so constantly through her illness with Fanny, who lived with God, I had been perforce brought nearer to Him, and therefore naturally learned to dread Him less and love Him more than I had done; so that I hoped, as I know my mother did, that the sunshine of His grace would help to mellow me.

Another bright point was, that I need not go back to Greenville.  The present mistress was glad to keep the school, and the committee willing to keep her.