Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
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Red hair was first made infamous by JUDAS ISCARIOT; hence the reporter not only shows the intensity of his Christianity, but his delicate knowledge of human character, by the fine contempt cast upon the felon locks of the speaker.  Red hair is doubtless the brand of Providence; the mark set upon guilty man to give note and warning to his unsuspicious fellow-creatures.  Like the scarlet light at the North Foreland, it speaks of shoals, and sands, and flats.  The emperor Commodus, who had all his previous life rejoiced in flaxen locks, woke, the morning after his first contest in the arena, a red-haired man!  But then, with a fine knowledge of the wholesome prejudices of the world, he turned the curse upon his head into a beauty; for he—­powdered it with gold-dust.  Could Mr. WALL, of the penny theatre, induce the Master of the Mint to play his coiffeur, how would the reporter fall on his knees and worship the divinity!

Mr. WALL, being of the opposite faction, in addition to the unpowdered ignominy of his hair, has also the face of a hyena!  This fact opens a question too vast for our one solitary page.  We lack at least the amplitude of a quarto to prove that all men are fashioned, even in the womb, with features that shall hereafter beautifully harmonise with the politics of the grown creature.  Now WALL, being ordained a poor man and a Chartist, is endowed with a “laughing hyena” countenance.  He even loses the vantage ground of our common humanity, and is sunk by his poverty and his politics to the condition of a beast, and of a most unamiable beast into the bargain.  However, the vast enfolding iniquity is yet to be displayed and duly shuddered at; for WALL, the biped hyena, wears—­a fustian coat!

As journalists, we trust we have our common share—­which is no little—­of human vanity.  Nevertheless, with the highest private opinion of our own powers, we feel we can add nothing to the picture drawn by the reporter.  The fustian coat, with a tongue in every button-hole, discourses on its own inwoven infamy.

We recognise with great pleasure a growing custom on the part of political reporters to merge the orators and listeners at public meetings in their several articles of dress.  This practice has doubtless originated in a most philosophical consideration of the sympathies between the outer and the inner man, and has its source in the earliest records of human life.  The patriarchs rent their garments in token of the misery that lacerated their souls:  then rags and tatters were ennobled by sorrow—­there was a deep sentiment in sackcloth and ashes.  We have, however, improved upon the ignorance of primitive days; and though we still admit the covering of man to be typical of his condition of mind, we wisely keep our respect for super-Saxony, and expend contempt and ridicule on corduroy and fustian.  We yet hope to see the day when certain political meetings will be briefly reported as follow:—­

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.