“But I must explain.”

“Next case.  Hold your jaw!—­this way!”—­and the same individual who had jerked Mr. Adolphus Casay into the dock, rejerked him into the middle of the court.  The shilling was paid, and, amid the laughter of the idlers at his anti-teetotal habits, he made the best of his way from the scene of his humiliation.  As he rushed round the corner of the street, a peal of laughter struck upon his ears, and there, in full feather, as sober as ever, stood Mr. Brown Bunkem, enjoying the joke beyond all measure.  Indignation took possession of Mr. Adolphus Casay’s bosom; he demanded to know the cause of this strange conduct, stating that his character was for ever compromised.

“Not at all,” coolly rejoined the unmoved Bunkem; “we are all subject to accidents.  You certainly were in a scrape, but I think none the worse of you; and, if it’s any satisfaction, you may say it was me.”

“Say it was you!  Why it was.”

“Capital, upon my life! do you hear him, Smith, how well he takes a cue? but stick to it, old fellow, I don’t think you’ll be believed; but—­say it was me.”

Mr. Brown Bunkem was perfectly right.  Mr. Adolphus Casay was not believed; for some time he told the story as it really was, but to no purpose.  The indefatigable Brown was always appealed to by mutual friends, his answer invariably was—­

“Why, Casay’s a steady fellow, I am not; it might injure him. I defy report; therefore I gave him leave to—­say it was me!”

And that was all the thanks Mr. Adolphus Casay ever got for bailing friend.

FUSBOS

* * * * *

THE POLITICAL EUCLID.

WHEREIN ARE CONSIDERED

THE RELATIONS OF PLACE;

OR

THE BEST MODE OF

GETTING A PLACE FOR YOUR RELATIONS: 

Being a complete Guide to the Art of

LEGISLATIVE MENSURATION,

OR,

How to estimate the value of a Vote upon

WHIG AND TORY MEASURES.

THE WHOLE ADAPTED TO

THE USE OF HONOURABLE MEMBERS.

BY

LORD PALMERSTON,

Late Professor of Toryism, but now Lecturer on Whiggery to the College of St. Stephen’s.

* * * * *

BOOK I.—­DEFINITIONS.

A point in politics is that which always has place (in view,) but no particular party.

A line in politics is interest without principle.

The extremities of a line are loaves and fishes.

A right line is that which lies evenly between the Ministerial and
Opposition benches.