and sawdust; Mrs. Waddledot, pastilles and chalking the floor.  As the latter remedies seemed most compatible with the gentility of their expected visiters, immediate measures were taken for carrying them into effect.  A dozen cheese-plates were disposed upon the stairs, each furnished with little pyramids of fragrance; old John, who was troubled with an asthma, was deputed to superintend them, and nearly coughed himself into a fit of apoplexy in the strenuous discharge of his duty.

Whilst these in-door remedial appliances were in progress, Agamemnon was hurrying about in a hack cab to discover a designer in chalk, and at length was fortunate enough to secure the “own artist” of the celebrated “Crown and Anchor.”  Mr. Smear was a shrewd man, as well as an excellent artist; and when he perceived the very peculiar position of things, he forcibly enumerated all the difficulties which presented themselves, and which could only be surmounted by a large increase of remuneration.

“You see, sir,” said Mr. Smear, “that wherever that ere water has been it’s left a dampness ahind it; the moistur’ consekent upon such a dampness must be evaporated by ever-so-many applications of the warming-pan.  The steam which a rises from this hoperation, combined with the extra hart required to hide them two black spots in the middle, will make the job come to one-pund-one, independently of the chalk.”

Agamemnon had nothing left but compliance with Mr. Smear’s demand; and one warming and three stew-pans, filled with live coals, were soon engaged in what Mr. Smear called the “ewaporating department.”  As soon as the boards were sufficiently dry, Mr. Smear commenced operations.  In each of the four corners of the room he described the diagram of a coral and bells, connecting them with each other by graceful festoons of blue-chalk ribbon tied in large true-lover’s knots in the centre.  Having thus completed a frame, he proceeded, after sundry contortions of the facial muscles, to the execution of the great design.  Having described an ellipse of red chalk, he tastefully inserted within it a perfect representation of the interior of an infant’s mouth in an early stage of dentition, whilst a graceful letter A seemed to keep the gums apart to allow of this artistical exhibition.  Proudly did Mr. Smear cast his small grey eyes on Agamemnon, and challenge him, as it were, to a laudatory acknowledgment of his genius; but as his patron remained silent, Mr. Smear determined to speak out.

“Hart has done her best—­language must do the rest.  I am now only awaiting for the motter.  What shall I say, sir?”

“‘Welcome’ is as good as anything, in my opinion,” replied Collumpsion.

“Welcome!” ejaculated Smear:  “a servile himitation of a general ’lumination idea, sir.  We must be original.  Will you leave it to me?”

“Willingly,” said Agamemnon.  And with many inward protestations against parties in general and his own in particular, he left Mr. Smear and his imagination together.