on the roof, similarly applied, produced no better
effects, and Agamemnon, in an agony of doubt, rushed
up-stairs to ascertain the cause of non-abatement.
Accidentally popping his head into the drawing-room,
what was his horror at beholding the beautiful Brussels
carpet, so lately “redolent of brilliant hues,”
one sheet of inky liquid, into which Mrs. Waddledot
(who had followed him) instantly swooned. Agamemnon,
in his alarm, never thought of his wife’s mother,
but had rushed half-way up the next flight of stairs,
when a violent knocking arrested his ascent, and, with
the fear of the whole fire-brigade before his eyes,
he re-rushed to open the door, the knocker of which
kept up an incessant clamour both in and out of the
house. The first person that met his view was
a footman, 25, dyed with the same sooty evidence of
John and Betty’s exertions, as he had encountered
on entering his own drawing-room. The dreadful
fact flashed upon Collumpsion’s mind, and long
before the winded and saturated servant could detail
the horrors he had witnessed in “his missuses
best bed-room, in No. 25,” the bewildered proprietor
of No. 24 was franticly shaking his innocently offending
menials on the leads of his own establishment.
Then came a confused noise of little voices in the
street, shouting and hurraing in the fulness of that
delight which we regret to say is too frequently felt
by the world at large at the misfortunes of one in
particular. Then came the sullen rumble of the
parish engine, followed by violent assaults on the
bell and knocker, then another huzza! welcoming the
extraction of the fire-plug, and the sparkling fountain
of “New River,” which followed as a providential
consequence. Collumpsion again descended, as
John had at last discovered the right chimney, and
having inundated the stewpans and the kitchen, had
succeeded in extinguishing the sooty cause of all
these disasters. The mob had, by this time, increased
to an alarming extent. Policemen were busily employed
in making a ring for the exhibition of the water-works—little
boys were pushing each other into the flowing gutters—small
girls, with astonished infants in their arms, were
struggling for front places against the opposite railings;
and every window, from the drawing-rooms to the attics,
in Pleasant-terrace were studded with heads, in someway
resembling the doll heads in a gingerbread lottery,
with which a man on a wooden leg was tempting the
monied portion of the juvenile alarmists. Agamemnon
opened the door, and being flanked by the whole of
his household, proceeded to address the populace on
the present satisfactory state of his kitchen chimney.
The announcement was received by expressions of extreme
disgust, as though every auditor considered that a
fire ought to have taken place, and that they had
been defrauded of their time and excitement, and that
the extinguishing of the same by any other means than
by legitimate engines was a gross imposition.
He was about remonstrating with them on the extreme