Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,359 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete.
on the roof, similarly applied, produced no better effects, and Agamemnon, in an agony of doubt, rushed up-stairs to ascertain the cause of non-abatement.  Accidentally popping his head into the drawing-room, what was his horror at beholding the beautiful Brussels carpet, so lately “redolent of brilliant hues,” one sheet of inky liquid, into which Mrs. Waddledot (who had followed him) instantly swooned.  Agamemnon, in his alarm, never thought of his wife’s mother, but had rushed half-way up the next flight of stairs, when a violent knocking arrested his ascent, and, with the fear of the whole fire-brigade before his eyes, he re-rushed to open the door, the knocker of which kept up an incessant clamour both in and out of the house.  The first person that met his view was a footman, 25, dyed with the same sooty evidence of John and Betty’s exertions, as he had encountered on entering his own drawing-room.  The dreadful fact flashed upon Collumpsion’s mind, and long before the winded and saturated servant could detail the horrors he had witnessed in “his missuses best bed-room, in No. 25,” the bewildered proprietor of No. 24 was franticly shaking his innocently offending menials on the leads of his own establishment.  Then came a confused noise of little voices in the street, shouting and hurraing in the fulness of that delight which we regret to say is too frequently felt by the world at large at the misfortunes of one in particular.  Then came the sullen rumble of the parish engine, followed by violent assaults on the bell and knocker, then another huzza! welcoming the extraction of the fire-plug, and the sparkling fountain of “New River,” which followed as a providential consequence.  Collumpsion again descended, as John had at last discovered the right chimney, and having inundated the stewpans and the kitchen, had succeeded in extinguishing the sooty cause of all these disasters.  The mob had, by this time, increased to an alarming extent.  Policemen were busily employed in making a ring for the exhibition of the water-works—­little boys were pushing each other into the flowing gutters—­small girls, with astonished infants in their arms, were struggling for front places against the opposite railings; and every window, from the drawing-rooms to the attics, in Pleasant-terrace were studded with heads, in someway resembling the doll heads in a gingerbread lottery, with which a man on a wooden leg was tempting the monied portion of the juvenile alarmists.  Agamemnon opened the door, and being flanked by the whole of his household, proceeded to address the populace on the present satisfactory state of his kitchen chimney.  The announcement was received by expressions of extreme disgust, as though every auditor considered that a fire ought to have taken place, and that they had been defrauded of their time and excitement, and that the extinguishing of the same by any other means than by legitimate engines was a gross imposition.  He was about remonstrating with them on the extreme
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.