LORD CHAMBERLAIN (aside).—­If you do get the berth, Sir Robert, I hope you’ll not give me warning. [Exit.

SIR ROBERT (looking demurely).—­Hem!

[The Queen regards him very attentively.]

THE QUEEN (aside).—­I don’t much like the looks of the fellow—­that affectation of simplicity is evidently intended to conceal the real cunning of his character. (Aloud).  You are of course aware of the nature and the duties of the situation which you solicit?

SIR ROBERT.—­Oh, yes, your Majesty; I have filled it before, and liked it very much.

THE QUEEN.—­It’s a most responsible post, for upon your conduct much of the happiness of my other servants depends.

SIR ROBERT.—­I am aware of that, your Majesty; but as no one can hope to please everybody, I will only answer that one half shall be perfectly satisfied.

THE QUEEN.—­You have recently returned from Tamworth?

SIR ROBERT.—­Yes, your Majesty.

THE QUEEN.—­We will dispense with forms.  At Tamworth, you have been practising as a quack doctor?

SIR ROBERT.—­Yes, madam; I was brought up to doctoring, and am a professor of sleight-of-hand.

THE QUEEN.—­What have you done in the latter art to entitle you to such a distinction?

SIR ROBERT.—­I have performed some very wonderful changes.  When I was out of place, I had opinions strongly opposed to Catholic emancipation; but when I got into service I changed them in the course of a few days.

THE QUEEN.—­I have heard that you boast of possessing a nostrum for the restoration of the public good.  What is it?

SIR ROBERT.—­Am I to consider myself “as regularly called in?”

THE QUEEN.—­That is a question I decline answering at present.

SIR ROBERT.—­Then I regret that I must also remain silent.

THE QUEEN (aside).—­The wily fox! (aloud)—­Are you aware that great distress exists in the country?

SIR ROBERT.—­Oh, yes!  I have heard that there are several families who keep no man-servant, and that numerous clerks, weavers, and other artisans, occupy second-floors.

THE QUEEN.—­I have heard that the people are wanting bread.

SIR ROBERT.—­Ha, ha! that was from the late premier, I suppose.  He merely forgot an adjective—­it is cheap bread that the people are clamouring for.

THE QUEEN.—­And why can they not have it?

SIR ROBERT.—­I have consulted with the Duke of Richmond upon the subject, and he says it is impossible.

THE QUEEN.—­But why?

SIR ROBERT.—­Wheat must be lower before bread can be cheaper.

THE QUEEN.—­Well!

SIR ROBERT.—­And rents must be less if that is the case, and—­

THE QUEEN.—­Well!

SIR ROBERT.—­And that the landowners won’t agree to.

THE QUEEN.—­Well!