May it plese my Lord,—­i have gest time to Rite and let you kno’ wot a sad plite we are inn, On account off your lordship’s inwitayshun to queen Wictory and Prince Allbut to come and Pick a bit with you, becos There is nothink for them wen they comes, and the Kitchin-range is chok’d up with the sut as has falln down the last fore yeers, and no poletry but too old cox, which is two tuff to be agreerble; But, praps, we Can git sum cold meet from the in, wot as bin left at the farmers’ markut-dinner; and may I ask you my lord without fear of your

[Illustration:  TAKING A FENCE]

on the reseat of this To send down sum ham and beef to me—­two pound will be Enuff—­or a quarter kitt off pickuld sammun, if you can git it, and I wish you may; and sum german silver spoons, to complement prince Allbut with; and, praps, as he and his missus knos they’ve come to Take pot-luck like, they won’t be patickler, and I think we had better order the beer from the Jerry-shop, for owr own Is rayther hard, and the brooer says, that a fore and a harf gallon, at sixpence A gallon, won’t keep no Time, unless it’s drunk; and so we guv some to the man as brort the bushel of coles, and he sed It only wanted another Hop, and then it woud have hopped into water; and John is a-going to set some trimmers in The ditches to kitch some fish; and, praps, if yure lordship comes, you may kitch sum too, from

Yure obedient Humbl servent and housekeeper,

MISSES RUMMIN.

7.

MY LORD,—­Probably your cellars will be full of choke-damp when the door is opened, from long disuse and confined air.  I have men, accustomed to descend dangerous wells and shafts, who will undertake the job at a moderate price.  Should you labour under any temporary pecuniary embarrassment in paying me, I shall be happy to take it out in your wine, which I should think had been some years in bottle.  Your Lordship’s most humble servant,

RICHARD ROSE,

Dealer in Marine Stores.

Gray’s-inn-lane.

* * * * *

LAYS OF THE LAZY.

  I’ve wander’d on the distant shore,
    I’ve braved the dangers of the deep,
  I’ve very often pass’d the Nore—­
    At Greenwich climb’d the well-known steep;
  I’ve sometimes dined at Conduit House,
    I’ve taken at Chalk Farm my tea,
  I’ve at the Eagle talk’d with Rouse—­
    But I have NOT forgotten thee!

  “I’ve stood amid the glittering throng”
    Of mountebanks at Greenwich fair,
  Where I have heard the Chinese gong
    Filling, with brazen voice, the air. 
  I’ve join’d wild revellers at night—­
    I’ve crouch’d beneath the old oak tree,
  Wet through, and in a pretty plight,
    But, oh!  I’ve NOT forgotten thee!