nonsense that he can’t get an idea into his
head suited to the exigencies of the times, democracy,
with its all-elevating power, will stand by him, give
him new sinners to sustain himself, and carry him through
those struggles aristocracy has not nerve to surmount.’
(Cheers). Having literally illustrated every
beauty to which democracy was heir, wasted several
well-constructed and not badly directed compliments
on General Pierce’s patriotism, called upon
those present to come boldly out and imitate Young
America in all his go-ahead proficiencies, Flum turned
to his worship, on which wonderful embodiment of statesmanship
and experience he intended to return the compliments
that functionary had so flatteringly bestowed.
As disappointments will occur, even with the greatest
of men, so did Flum find himself totally inadequate
to the discharge of this duty. There was, however,
a responsibility resting upon him, which he must,
considering that it touched that which was an honor
to England and the English nation, discharge.
It was, that he had to congratulate old England on
the possession of such men as his Worship—men
born to the exigencies of an age, and in whose charge
the distracted affairs of Europe, now threatening
the peace of nations, would be sure to find a satisfactory
solution. Here his honor made a most appropriate
bow in acknowledgment, while a few gentlemen, rather
loquaciously disposed, smiled and Miss Mapplebank,
from Arkansas, covered her face with her white handkerchief.
It was evident to all present that the two greatest
men of the two greatest countries had met on a great
international platform (the banqueting table), and
as the exchange of verdicts upon the capacity of each
other only served to make stronger the opinion they
had always entertained of themselves, everyone present
was ready to throw up his or her hat in compliment
of a discovery which must reflect to the great good
of nations in general. Flum ended his speech,
the mediums had met; international unity was perfect.
Mr. Peabody bowed, the great men signified their acknowledgment,
the company rose as the general made his last flourish
and wiped the sweat from his brow, and all adjourned
in the very happiest phase of good humor. Smooth
being somewhat modest, and always bashful when in
the presence of ladies, did not make his speech until
they had left. It may be well to say that Mr.
Smooth’s speech was gracefully responded to by
Citizen Peabody, who expressed himself delighted,
and had no doubt but that in the care of Mr. Smooth,
General Pierce would make an unexceptional President.
After this, gentlemen feeling very jolly, we all adjourned
to the gorgeously furnished hall up stairs, where
we joined the ladies, partook of most delicious coffee,
enjoyed many happy salutations and cordial greetings.
The Lord Mayor and Flum having embraced in style truly
Roman, and pledged themselves over a cup of coffee,
never to lose sight of their own greatness, nor to
forget the beneficence of that all-wise Providence