stepped in, and extended my hand to the savage.  ‘My name, stranger,’ I continued ’is Commissioner Solomon Smooth—­at home they call me General Smooth.  Now, seeing that I am sent by our patriotic President (a very small man by the way, but immeasurably large when dealing in the mere language of war) whose determination that talent of a truly American character shall shine abroad has been fully appreciated by the nations honored with his promising plenipotentiaries, Mr. Pierce has deputed me to square the world in general, and manifest destiny in particular.’  The savage at first exhibited signs of concern, but finally summoned to his aid a salutation of welcome, and at the same time grasped my hand warmly and earnestly.  Communicating with him by signs was not the most agreeable office:  but when there is a point to be gained energy is always well spent.  I would enlighten him upon matters connected with our government, while ascertaining his ideas of annexation:  this the language of signs prevented my doing.  I regretted this exceedingly, inasmuch as it compelled me to forego the comparison I contemplated making between his and those known ideas entertained by General Pierce himself.  Enough, however, was drawn from the signs to prove a striking coincidence.  ‘Never bin to Washington—­I reckon?’ I inquired assuming the independent, as I gave my hat an easy set on the windward side of my head.  He shook his head, and croaked out something no one could understand.  ‘Great place!’ rejoined I—­’ought to come over and see it, old fellow.’  I affectionately placed my arm about his neck, as he shook his head a second time; the small kindness had made us good friends.  Motioning John to him, he grasped our hands, led us to his camp, called a council of his people, who said much it was impossible for us to understand.  Indeed, they set up a conflict of sound more dinning than the roar of waters.  Instinctively hospitable, when dinner-time came they motioned us to sit and partake of a piping dish of snakes’ heads and fried beetles, of which choice delicacies the old chief was sorely grieved that we ate but little.  Now and then he would spread his hands, as if to say—­why not eat of what I give you?  I was not long in becoming acquainted with our new acquaintance; nor did I fail to shock the modesty of our worthy friend John, who said he could not view with indifference the celerity with which I walked into things which should be touched only with the dignity of national character.

“‘Now stranger,’ continued I, addressing myself good-naturedly to the chief; ’seeing you are sovereign of this remote but lovely country—­and that yours is manifestly an empire—­suppose we try a little trade.  Smooth is a free-and-easy citizen of the United States—­can meet you at and be friendly over anything.  My friend here,’ (I pointed to John who seemed in an offish mood) ’is a Britisher, an honest member of that very ancient and gallant family which now views us, too often for that spirit which should make us friends, as a beardless upstart; John, though extremely vain, is not a bad fellow, and at times improves on acquaintance.  If his proclivities for getting into an hole (like a toad in a shower) are at times too strongly manifested, who so ungenerous as not to forgive the hereditary character of the disease?’