“‘Ah!’ replied the Gineral, good-naturedly; ’Smooth, you’re a sharp fellow, with gumption enough to see through a thing or two; but remember, if we contract for the licking, with some enterprising individual, we must pay by measurement.  There’s the democracy to please, the country to satisfy, Young America to provide with clean shirts!  I thought my gallant fellow Hollins would have done that when I sent him to let strip at the Greytowners; but, as the result was different, a body can’t always tell how such things ’ll turn, I now think of letting him out to the Emperor of Russia, who having granted him means of developing his fighting capacity, by investing him with full power to thrash the allied fleets of England and France, would not hesitate to pay a large amount of revenue into the treasury of these United States for his daring services.  But you see, Smooth, my government is merely an experiment, which may or may not please, and in this sense your experience will be extremely valuable.’

“Smooth saw Mr. President Pierce wanted experience; but, at the same time, he was fearful the General would get the points, and out-general him.  However, as it was always better to have confidence in each other when pursuing a political question, and knowing the General to be a sort of clever fellow, ready to do almost anything, he entered upon the decyphering.  There was the S.S.S. (Sickles, Souley, and Saunders) Company, doing a slap-up business in Europe!  He must have them thrown in.  While the head of the firm was generously lending a hand to turn mother monarchy out of doors, and the in-door partner was making sad use of the stock in trade (which consisted of a very large supply of letter-writing material, only to be used for disseminating republican principles), the junior of the house, taking advantage of the opportune moment, thought it quite in keeping with the spirit of the times to make a spec on his own account; and to that end the said junior partner (not the least sagacious of the three), with a bill of sale of Cuba in his pocket, had just stepped over to Washington to consummate the purchase, and revel awhile in the damask of the White House.  Borland, finding no more congressional faces to smash in Washington—­from which city it was considered General Pierce had removed an intolerable perplexity by sending him to foreign parts—­had been recompensed by the smashing of his own, in Central America, where he had raised a tolerable sort of a breeze.  He, too, must be thrown in.  Seymour, the blue-stocking governor, of whom so much was expected, and whose mission to the god of all the Rushas, American statesmen looked upon with great anxiety, it was currently reported had burrowed in a snow-bank somewhere in the interior of the amiable Czar’s vast dominions, not one word having been heard of him for the last nine months.  That he had not lent material aid to the fighting Cossack, was a source of grievous dissatisfaction to Young America.