MARTIN.  Look here, couldn’t a man ...

CASE WORKER.  Certainly he could, and many do, apply for relief just to get a little side graft from the government.

TED. [Desperately, humiliated.] I applied for relief because I wanted a job; because the only way to get a job is to go on relief first.  I haven’t anything.  I have no source of income.

CASE WORKER. [Sarcastic.] No income, but plenty of money?  I understand!

MARTIN.  I was about to explain ...

CASE WORKER. [Shortly.] You needn’t.  You can’t bamboozle me.  It’s most unfortunate, isn’t it, that I caught him unawares?  Had he known I was coming he’d undoubtedly have dressed more correctly for the role of a relief applicant.

KATE.  Oh, how dare you?

CASE WORKER.  Our instructions are to report in detail on every application, and particularly on those that appear fraudulent. [Fully formidable.] Now, Mr. Brooks.  Will you answer truthfully?  Have you any means of support that you have not acknowledged?

TED. No.  I have not.

CASE WORKER. [Rising, leaves report lying on table.] Then perhaps you will explain how you got those clothes?

KATE. [Who has had great difficulty keeping still.] I bought those clothes for him.  Now are you satisfied?

CASE WORKER.  And who are you?

KATE.  A friend.

CASE WORKER.  So—­it’s that kind of a deal.  I wondered who you were.

MARTIN. [Angry.] Does that go in your report?

CASE WORKER.  Yes, that will go in my report.

MARTIN.  The lady’s name and address, I suppose—­and whether she is married or single?

CASE WORKER.  You needn’t be sarcastic.

MARTIN.  And if she is married, do you notify the husband?

CASE WORKER.  I don’t think there is any ruling on that.

[KATE, unseen, gets hold of report and holds it behind her.]

KATE.  Well, what will happen in this case?

CASE WORKER.  I don’t know.  I shall turn in my report.

KATE.  Oh no you won’t.  Not this report! [She tears and crumples it.].

CASE WORKER.  How dare you?

KATE.  Get out!

CASE WORKER.  I’ll report you.

KATE.  You haven’t got my name and address yet.

CASE WORKER.  I’ll send the chief investigator here.

MARTIN.  Madam, you will do nothing of the sort.  Or I’ll report you.

CASE WORKER.  You will?  To whom?

MARTIN.  To a New York newspaper which would just love the story of a noble case worker and how well she works her cases.

CASE WORKER.  The impudence!

MARTIN.  And your picture.  I always illustrate my own stories, and I can draw your face from memory.

CASE WORKER. [Whining.] But I must turn in some kind of a report.

MARTIN.  You lost it!  And Uncle Sam forgot it.  It’s only one of ten million. [He escorts her to door.]